T.R. LeJeune

Hearts covered in icy prisms,
Like a short-lived winter's freeze.
Turning foliage to frost-bitten decay
Portraying one's dejected voice.

Gray shades cover the surrounds
Like words spreading vile plague
Corrupting the ears of loved ones
Crumbling a vast landscape to ruin.

Arrays of slander basks in sorrow,
Like one chauffeuring another’s demise
Embroidering lies into truth
Rendering hearts into eternal woe.

Vein bounding round vitality,
Like the lynch relentlessly grasps.
Lost within a broken soul’s hollow
Spoiling the essence of life.

sisyphyus

__________________
I seek answers from within
only to realize I am without.
If not now, I ask myself when
My response is always laced with doubt

T.R. LeJeune

Thanks I was hoping to focus on a main use of imagery.

mjk

wow, lots going on in this poem. i'm almost tempted to say the images flicker by too quickly, but i actually think that's part of why i like it so much. you've got a creative way with words. thanks for posting it.

__________________
"Words have no power to impress the mind with the exquisite horror of their reality." -Edgar Allan Poe
***
Creative Scribblings - a collection of odds and ends

T.R. LeJeune

Thanks mjk means a lot!

journyman161

Some nice imagery yes, but imagery needs to make sense or leave the reader wondering what is going on... Also some corrections to make it better english.

singular so would work better as...
like a short-lived winter freeze

possessive - Portraying one's dejected voice.

Arrays of slander is strange - slander is spoken malicious comment; also as arrays is plural, it should be bask, not basks - a single thing basks, multiples bask

should this be Vain? or perhaps Veins?

Perhaps like the lynx? Lynch means to hang someone without benefit of law... and grasp, I presume instead of graps?

But I like the way you see things; just a little more care I think

__________________
*He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
*Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
*Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it - Moses Hadas
*He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know - Abraham Lincoln

J.R. MacLean

interesting work, I agree with much of the above, particularly journyman and the need for more care. cheers