Psycho6058

The stakeout was successful, the warrants had been served,
the “bad guys” were arrested, and the evidence preserved.
They booked them and locked them up, the hearing date was set,
the cops start to celebrate, (but it’s not over yet).

The lawyer had a court order (and a temper kind of short),
it said they’d have to be released until their day in court.
It seems one of the “perps” has a father who’s connected,
since donating the land where the schoolhouse was erected,

The evidence was lost, and the cops were getting pissed,
as the judge announced that now the case had been dismissed.
Smiling ear to ear and patting lawyers on the back,
they were all caught off guard when they were attacked.

When the shooting ended and they started counting dead,
there were two cons and three lawyers with bullets in their head.
When they tried to find out who put those five men down,
they couldn’t find one single witness in the entire town.

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All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke

cacafire

lol, very catchy. What else is there to say?

so...Cheese?

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Critique my pieces, and I'll gladly return the favor: Mita of the sky: II, Gloving_Country, Shared Qualms(check this one out!), Gloving country-II, , Capoeira, Father and Son, Silence Come, The Lad I Knew

Psycho6058

Thanks Caca.

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All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke

journyman161

Is it a bad thing to wish this was real? That a whole town was so incensed they all refused to talk? Does that make me a bad person?

Nice poem if a bit of a downer...

I keep stumbling on this line - the words don't lend themselves to the meter of the rest - perhaps something like
One of the 'perps' it turns out has a father who's connected...?

Also the repeat of court in stanza 2 is a bit off-putting

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*He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
*Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
*Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it - Moses Hadas
*He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know - Abraham Lincoln

silverwriter

(but it’s not over yet). -don’t reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyy need parentheses, do you?

was erected," - period


is this just an idea or based off something? just curious. reminds me of a western, to be honest. good job. i like it.

*tumbleweed rolls by*

hehe

*hugs*

jaime

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Psycho6058

Mark I hope that doesn't make you a bad person, 'cause I wrote it....which would make me a bad person as well. Thanks for the tips...the first one would make the line 15 beasts long, so I didn't use that, I did however change the other line to eliminate one "court" (no wonder those two lines rhymed so well)
anyway...thanks.

jaime: I used the parenthesis to make the phrase what they call in theater "an aside" it's a thought I want the reader to have without it being an actual part of the line being written. (does that make sense?) Got the period. thanks. And watch those rolling tumbleweeds, they're sharp. LOL

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All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke