Buddy

This is my first attempt at haiku. I'm happy if I even got the number of syllables right.


Red face riddled with
myriad bumps of despair.
Amputated soul.

or...

Red face riddled with
myriad bumps of despair,
hidden in shadows.


I couldn't decide on the last line.

-Buddy.

Kathleen O'Williams

I like the second last line better, it seems to go more with the other two lines
Just my two cents
Kath

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Beware of what you do at day, it will sleep with you at night. -Crushed and wiggling.

Burnz

I agree, second ending is the better of the two

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