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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
02-09-2006, 05:05 AM
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#1
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ireland
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,378
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Crimson Insight
I've never seen myself like this,
body caged within those blue orbs,
laid across infinity and a lifetime
of laughing charity as
the stars go out and clouds
obscure this insight
to the silent fanfare
of a closing door.
Now I'm hollow.
Alone with the Knife,
nothing but the cold, the trees
and the crimson pool around her
linking us again.
__________________
For Sale: One soul. Mint condition, never been used.
Battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster. And if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
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02-10-2006, 08:54 AM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,607
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This one gave me goosebumps, good imagery.
__________________
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke
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02-11-2006, 03:37 PM
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#3
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ireland
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,378
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Thanks Psycho! Glad I got a reaction.... 
__________________
For Sale: One soul. Mint condition, never been used.
Battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster. And if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
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02-11-2006, 03:52 PM
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#4
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,549
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I'm not sure if this is describing an epiphany brought on by murder or the emptiness after a mom ent of rage but it is effective. It leaves me wondering if the crimson pool linking means it is murder/suicide & that soon the author will join her.
Very effectively macabre I thought
__________________
*He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) 
*Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
*Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it - Moses Hadas
*He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know - Abraham Lincoln
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09-26-2006, 06:10 AM
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#5
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: West Moreton, Queensland AU
Gender: Private
Posts: 233
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by slayerofangels
I've never seen myself like this,
body caged within those blue orbs,
laid across infinity and a lifetime
of laughing charity as
the stars go out and clouds
obscure this insight
to the silent fanfare
of a closing door.
Now I'm hollow.
Alone with the Knife,
nothing but the cold, the trees
and the crimson pool around her
linking us again.
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It stands out - the "silent fanfare of a closing door"
and makes it all the more "hollow"
Is it a romanticide.... where he could not have her
so no one else could?
Or did she take herself from this world by her own
hand and he desperately seeks to be with her?
mmmm...... |
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09-26-2006, 09:44 AM
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#6
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ireland
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,378
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journeyman: It's a little bit of both, I think. Glad you enjoyed it.
arkayye: I always pictured it as him killing her, but the reason was never really that clear. I'm flattered that someone wnet looking for this though.
Regards
Slayer
__________________
For Sale: One soul. Mint condition, never been used.
Battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster. And if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
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