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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 02-04-2006, 03:40 PM   #1
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Ubeenbinladin? is on a distinguished road
Dance Romance

Hills roll on over fields of every nation's grass
The lads saunter single file through the valley no other way to pass.

The world spins round and round until what spins is spun

O what a glorious day to behold the largeness of our Sun!

A dutiful star shower on this planet not unlike the others
But this one fills us up like suckling on the breast of mothers.

On mother's laps we take our naps and snooze and snooze and snooze
While sleeping dream of many things like our evasive muse.

But of all these inspirations I am at a loss
The rock that sits long slowly gains its moss.

Is the moss so fine, so fine, to resemble what we hope?
Is that moss something that is here to help us cope?

For what we hope is to obtain the form divine,To obtain the perfect being, Oh that would be so fine



But instead I am like a ship on the roaring seaI am moving amongst the waves with a heart of glee!

There is no place in outter space that atoms aren't aware
So I move my massive body without a morbid care.

I look upon a mortared house uniform and tall
Think of things in my eyes from the bigger to the small,

Every brick is tangible made up of atom's work
Every atom so real, so real composed of its little lucid quirks

Far below this realm lies gay lands of our romance,
Look smaller larger at your soul for that is how we dance!
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Old 02-04-2006, 03:47 PM   #2
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Like many others, you have let the rythem and ryhme control you. Write what you want to write not what rhymes.
Thanks
Chris
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Old 02-04-2006, 04:03 PM   #3
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Ubeenbinladin? is on a distinguished road
The rhyme does nto control

So rhythm and meter are wrong? Thanks!
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