TonyF

On becoming a table

If I bend into the table
make its flatness my flatness
squeezing myself into its careful corners
four-square logic of an object
and squat-so.

perkonet

I'm always amazed at the creativity of poets. Your poem creates a strong image, and I think the idea is well thought out. Good job.

cbaird14

squat-so throws me off somewhat, but for some reason I feel that this is not a case of obscurity but of ignorance. I would feel inequipped to critique beyond this: your poem itself seems to become the table. You master "how" the poem means. I would love to know more about your thought process going into this work
Thanks
Chris

TonyF

The poem becoming the table was what I was after. I knew I needed shortand last night i agonized with the third line ("squeezing...") whether it was superfluous,r whether leaving it out might make the poem too short and un-table-like.
"squat-so" in the sense of voila! Again I agonized with putting a ! at the end,but thought it was too flamboyant for the "character" of a table.
Thought process? Basically its an idea that strikes me-then working on it and , in this case, keeping it brief enough to work.I fiddle about alot ,dissatisfied. This is the debris of that process.
Thanks a lot for the encouragement.TF

cbaird14

Wow, how refreshing to hear the word agonizing in relation to poetry, I have heard too many times in the last few days, "this is just something I thought up while I was tired/drunk/etc.

I completely agree with no exclamation point, would have thrown off the tableness of the poem. lol, to think I would be getting excited about becoming a table.

I really enjoyed this, thanks for sharing it with us.
Chris