Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-03-2006, 09:01 PM   #1
Scribe
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Louisiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 82
T.R. LeJeune is on a distinguished road
Send a message via Yahoo to T.R. LeJeune
A Time Too Late.

I wonder,
what will become of this?
This promiscuous emotion,
this enfeebling lust,
siphoning my vitality from vein.

What will become of our lives?
The very fabrication of it all,
of all that we shared,
gained, learned, and eventually
lost at the expense of another.

You fill my heart up,
with envisions of carnal desires,
with hopes and dreams of us,
of our lives destined to be,
of how we were once happy.

But now we have withered,
wasted away into sweet oblivion.
To dwell our entire lives,
to ponder on the notion,
wondering of what we could of been.
T.R. LeJeune is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2006, 10:04 PM   #2
Addict
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 190
cbaird14 is on a distinguished road
I finished this poem for the third time just now and I feel emotionally drained. Of coarse every critic brings with him/her the day, their experiences, but regardless of that subjective reality I am tired.

Maybe this was the point of the poem, or maybe it needs to be more engaging.

Not my favorite, and I would love to read something you write that tries harder to involve the larger Us.
Thanks
Chris
cbaird14 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-03-2006, 11:35 PM   #3
Scribe
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Louisiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 82
T.R. LeJeune is on a distinguished road
Send a message via Yahoo to T.R. LeJeune
its meant to give a sad feeling, for in all i am depressed at the time being.

the ex fiancee decides to come back into my life and want me to father a kid that is not of my own.

a burden i do not wish to carry
T.R. LeJeune is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:34 PM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers