gordon

Glass walls implode as we dissolve from reality
Each shard falls to reveal a bloody wound
Pin pricks mapped out to show the road forward
The atlas remains, stunned, as he holds the world.


For a moment his shoulders slump
Then equilibrium is returned
The world turns once again and he sees
The way forward in retrospect he always knew.

It was you….

__________________
One thing in life is certain you wont get out alive

Rivettovski

"The way forward in retrospect he always knew."

This line didn't read well to me, it could use some sort of grammar to break it up. Otherwise, I really enjoyed the diction and flow of the poem.

gordon

rive try a comma after forward
Thanks for the comments
G

__________________
One thing in life is certain you wont get out alive

Rivettovski

Actually, two commas seems to read best to me:

"The way forward, in retrospect, he always knew."

ms. vodka

this is beautiful.

very much the reason that i read poetry.

vodka

J.R. MacLean

I like this. Powerful, involving imagery; touching, truthful conclusion. I vote for a semi colon
after forward. Cheers.

gordon

Miss V thanks J R glad you liked it
Punctuation is not a stongpoint for me as many on here will tell you.
G

__________________
One thing in life is certain you wont get out alive