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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 01-30-2006, 04:53 PM   #1
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WriteStuff
Life

Life is like a mist
So fragile and beautiful
Obliterated in a second
By a stray gust of wind.

It only exists for a short time
So precious
More than diamonds
Until it is gone, leaving but a memory.

But the greatest gift a life can give
Is the gift of life.
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Old 01-30-2006, 06:50 PM   #2
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dannyboy is an unknown quantity at this point
don't tell me what life is like, show me.
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Old 02-03-2006, 08:23 PM   #3
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Could you be any more blunt?

By the way, this was a poem that came as a bolt of inspiration. It may not be perfect, but this is how it presented itself in my mind.
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Old 02-03-2006, 08:39 PM   #4
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sponteneity is sometimes the best way to write poems, other times diligent revisions is necessary to make the poem the greatest it can be. I think the spontaneous mood is very fitting, but even with some revision the mood can still be maintained.

The first verse was the best expressed, the poem felt slighty rushed as it progressed. Overall, though, I enjoyed this!
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Old 02-03-2006, 08:45 PM   #5
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Thanks dannyboy a reminder to al of us about what writing should be. Be ready to except criticism writestuff I get the impression you have alot to learn from dannyboy and others.

When writing becomes only personal expression you might as well write it to yourself in a diary. Writing is a communal activity, it's an action just as much as an expression. I look forward to your next poem.

The reputation of the humanites/writing as personal expression is ruining the art, I hope you come to realize its power and purpose.

Thanks
Chris
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