g.f.whitney

Sunset

Thin lines of blue, separated
only by a thin film,
translucent white.

Behind, the airy world relaxes
in its wintry simplicity,
as the birds twitter among the last remaining leaves.

Leaves of red juxtaposed against
the reddening sky, full of our wrongs,
just color in the sky.

The palette of the heavens,
red, yellow, blue, and white -
mixing together, but separate,
as the sun makes its daily death, and gives birth to a full moon.

-G.F. Whitney

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"If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them."

J.R. MacLean

This comes across as detached and rather dull. One doesn't feel the narrator cares about the sunset, is simply observing it. cheers jrmac

Mithose

I don't really see any exceptional imagery, and I'm not lead to any significant thought.

Perhaps that was the point - poets make far too big a deal of sunsets. Really, it's 'Just color in the sky.'

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A.A.Covington

A beautiful poem! I suggest not capitalizing every line... it makes the poem difficult to read and throws off the rhythm. The last line is my favorite - try starting from there and see where you end up.

xoxo
-Anne

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g.f.whitney

Mithose, you hit it right on the head. My point was that there was no real emotion in the sunset. It simply existed, hanging there, but untouchable by the speaker.

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"If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them."

bluewhite

It's really beatiful.

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I am Bluewhite.