Mackb

It was written on a day I was having serious health issues.

The body betrays repays for neglect
teen in mind and no more than twenty at heart
preteen mature but clock age apparent
signs of aging not hard to detect.

In great shape for a pear, athletic like potato
brisk sit normal speed, busy bee while on buns
exercising ears, eyes, jaw, tongue, but not
the lungs, arms and legs, no Ranger to be a Tonto.

Discipline shunned early at great cost in fall of life
new habits to learn much harder than in youth
older bones, cartilage and warning muscles ache
brain, eyes, back, knees, neck, feet feel the strife.

Body war internal sounded out loud from mouth
complaints from within and without, oh Lord
another thing to fix before it gets worse
what else will go south

Lower back gets out more than body, wonky knees
missing toes, mangled nails, fat gut, Biafran chest
diminished muscles, flat discs punish the neck
hair having fled south to ears, nose, toes, oh please!

My heart weakened, sleep disturbed, memory questionable
yet spirit strong, God gives more life
love of wife worth living for, Earthly strength
In Heaven, God is strength, incentive, invincible.

__________________
When we're young, every day is cheap but the older we get, the more we esteem our time. However if you've faced death and lived, every day becomes precious.

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mjk

ooh, i like it. it's fun to read out loud. i love the word choices in this, you put them together skillfully. the first stanza is excellent, not that the other ones are not, trust me they're not, but the first one is something else. thanks for posting it. i'll keep looking for your poetry, i enjoy your style immensely.

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"Words have no power to impress the mind with the exquisite horror of their reality." -Edgar Allan Poe
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Creative Scribblings - a collection of odds and ends

J.R. MacLean

Mackb: Your sincerity is engaging. I love the part about the hairs heading south. As a fellow aging male, I'm going to presume to give you some advice. The study and practice of Yoga would unquestionably be of benefit to you. Books by Andre van Lysebeth would be a good start. cheers your hoser buddy

Seajay

Hi Honey: I love your poem especially the part about love of a wife worth living for. Take care love you Sally

eleda

I love the message of this poem, the mental connection was great. However, it read a bit choppy in some places, like haiku in some lines and prose in other lines. Overall, the intention of the story about form and spirt was enjoyable to read to relate to. Much obliged to ya, mate!

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ms. vodka

nicely done mack.

i'm impressed with this one.

very descriptive.

i could almost feel your pain and frustration.

vodka

Mackb

fedl it? wanna trade?

How are you Ms V, I've missed ya, thot you didn't like my recent postings or somethin.

Tahnks for taking the time to post and to you Mjk, JR, eleda, seejay and me, oh, not me... lol.

I find it interesting that poetry flows for some and not others. The break in flow was semi-on purpose, to accentuate a point. But I have learned an awlful lot since joining here. What do you think Ms V?

__________________
When we're young, every day is cheap but the older we get, the more we esteem our time. However if you've faced death and lived, every day becomes precious.

Some of my favorite sites include:
http://www.writersbeat.com/forum.php?referrerid=205

Mean

I kinda liked reading this one, too. It has the feel of one of those anti-racism commercials where the girl is reciting her poem to the camera and it sounds quasi-hip-hop.

I could picture you sitting wearing a hoodie and loose-laced adidas tennis shoes being all...angsty.

Kidding aside, I liked it, too. For whatever that's worth coming from the Anti-Poet.

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