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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 01-09-2006, 04:01 PM   #1
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Gartogg is on a distinguished road
Post Wildflower in the Grass

Forever, it never seems to leave a mark,
the life unremarked, unexamined,
for all intents unlived.

And yet it remains, free
from the clutter that plagues us all,
Our work remains unfinished, undone, undo-able.

It builds
starting from nothing
becoming something, maybe, worthing seeing and knowing.

It may sometimes seem,
to some,
simply,
an extra not worth having.

But to others, it sits as a great example
that sometimes, if it is unpretentious,
maybe, maybe,
persistance can succeed.
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Old 01-09-2006, 05:56 PM   #2
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this is interesting, but i have no idea what you're talking about.

vodka
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:05 PM   #3
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J.R. MacLean is on a distinguished road
'behold the lily of the valley
it toils not, nor does it spin'

thoughtful, but needs more oomph, the juice of emotion
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Old 01-09-2006, 06:17 PM   #4
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Mackb is on a distinguished road
sounds pretentious without giving us the key to decipher it.

All the commas seem to be unneccessary.
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Old 01-11-2006, 02:03 PM   #5
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Gartogg is on a distinguished road
The title was an attempt to clarify the subject, but it should be readable as a comment on life, as well.
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