My life ------ then and now - Writers Forum

character1_Caitlin · 01-09-2006, 12:14 AM

I found my old poems this eveing tucked in the back of one my diary/journals. I am going to type it out and not change a word. I was 18 when I wrote it--- yikes. You have been warned.

My Life (written in 1984)

My life is like the wind
I dont know where it is going or when it will end
Sometimes it is a warm spring breeze
But I try to live it with the most of ease

My life is like a book
Pages are days that pass one by one
When I get to the middle I want to read on
I wonder what might happen on the last page
A happy ending or just THE END

My life is like a long country road
Twisting and turning the corners of life
Never knowing what direction I should go
Turn Left , turn right or go straight ahead
Maybe I will stay right here where I am
Or what you might call another dead end

/// In my defense , I read some journals entries around the time I wrote it. Ronald Reagon was recently elected president and for some reason this made me think we were heading to a nuclear war and certain death. Plus It was less then a year after my fathers death.

My rebuttal to my youth

My life is like the wind
Strong and a force to be reckoned with
I dont give up , I dont give in
I would never want to be 18 again

My life is like a book
I will determine how it will look
Yes I do want to turn the page
I am writing it my own way

My life is like a long country road
That took me down the paths I roam
I grew up but I'm not old
Each gray hair will have a story to be told

//////////////////

Just as bad but I thought I would finish it. -- even 22 years later. I did not have the internet back then. It just got stuffed in my diary.

dannyboy · 01-09-2006, 12:54 AM

fine 18 year old diary stuff, this is where we all begin and its fine, your playing with images, metaphors and all the other stuff.

mjk · 01-09-2006, 01:15 AM

yes, the second one is much better. i like those last two lines.

character1_Caitlin · 01-09-2006, 08:47 AM

Thanks, Dannyboy and mjk

I think I just wanted to show the ones that do seem to wallow in their angst ,that it is nothing new , and things will get better.

Wyndstar · 01-09-2006, 09:17 AM

My daughter is being introduced to poetry in preschool, but having to listen to mommy spout off stuff from here, she has a bit better ear. She didn't like the shcool's offering for the weekend, she much prefered the first poem here. She said it 'matched better' and said stuff better to her than the school poem. We did a comparison in iambic pintameter between them, and mommy liked the second one better. It had better control and said more with fewer.

That's next week's lesson if she wants to put up with it. Four is a little young for the technical stuff, and I'm still learning from HERE what to tell her. But this was a great help Caitlin, and it shows a nice progression in your own range. Thanks.

character1_Caitlin · 01-09-2006, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wyndstar

My daughter is being introduced to poetry in preschool, but having to listen to mommy spout off stuff from here, she has a bit better ear. She didn't like the shcool's offering for the weekend, she much prefered the first poem here. She said it 'matched better' and said stuff better to her than the school poem. We did a comparison in iambic pintameter between them, and mommy liked the second one better. It had better control and said more with fewer.

That's next week's lesson if she wants to put up with it. Four is a little young for the technical stuff, and I'm still learning from HERE what to tell her. But this was a great help Caitlin, and it shows a nice progression in your own range. Thanks.

So your young one likes my first one better? well tell her thanks. Im with you and prefer the second one.

I dont know all the rules and I know poems dont have to rhyme but I like a rhythm with similar sounds- road was hard so I went with roam.

What defines a poem? sometimes I read things, that are very profound, I am not dismissing the words but to me it is just a collection of statements
that is not a story either.

Can anyone answer me that?

mjk · 01-09-2006, 08:07 PM

i absolutely cannot answer you that. people have a lot of varying ideas of poetry. mainly i think its poetry if you can't call it anything else. most people would disagree with that, especially if they've spent a long time working in set and structured poetic stylings. i posted this elsewhere, but i'll say it again here... to me, poetry should dance, play, tear, evoke, sing, giggle, cry, stun, torment and any other number of verbs.... now i'm just getting vague... and this is why it is hard to say exactly what poetry is and what it "should" or "shouldn't" do.

character1_Caitlin · 01-09-2006, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjk

i absolutely cannot answer you that. people have a lot of varying ideas of poetry. mainly i think its poetry if you can't call it anything else. most people would disagree with that, especially if they've spent a long time working in set and structured poetic stylings. i posted this elsewhere, but i'll say it again here... to me, poetry should dance, play, tear, evoke, sing, giggle, cry, stun, torment and any other number of verbs.... now i'm just getting vague... and this is why it is hard to say exactly what poetry is and what it "should" or "shouldn't" do.

Yes thats a good answer, if you forget the words over time, you remember the feelings. There is another poem that I may get up here , I wrote it for my mother one mothers day but took it back so it would not get lost in all her stuff- packrat, excessive. I then gave it to my friend after her mother died . She has it somewhere and will read it back to me.