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Hello J.R.
Well, the big and bold is somewhat distracting to my eyes.
The poem itself is not too bad. It starts slow and then sort of falls and then almost ends slow. It is almost like a quick run throught the rain perhaps, which if purposeful would be a nice touch? When I look at the poem as having this purpose than I like it more. I don't really see how it couldn't have been purposeful especially with "whiffling". I still think that most people won't get it but they usually don't anyway. I may not even be getting it.
I don't like "feeling of team" at all, but that is personal preference.
I also don't like the ellipses at the end.
Some of this may be slightly overmodified.
I read this poem as running throught the rain to the car but that is only my interpretation. I would probably try to extend slightly on that. I hope this helps some and welcome.
Regards,
Skylor
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Being deep and appearing deep.--- Whoever knows he is deep, strives for clarity; whoever would like to appear deep to the crowd, strives for obscurity. For the crowd considers anything deep if only it cannot see to the bottom: the crowd is so timid and afraid of going into the water. -Nietzsche
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