Penelope

Hide is cracked with fissures of black
between jeweled earth tones and fire.
Hardwired links travel back to extinct
before the brink of flippant feathers.

Ivory trade enslaved to Mastodon tusk.
Sable sets the high standards of glam.
Perfumes corral their fables with musk
in the endless scams to perpetuate sham.

Pearls, plucked from sea bottom beds:
landlocked between cultivated breasts.
What tomfoolery, the joker suggests,
as the opulence swivels coifed heads.

Crocodile leather still glows old gold.
Peacocks preen outlandish plumes.
Mankind can only presume to assume
by ringing up what’s bought and sold.

When all’s said and done: the sun sets,
and we disentangle our precious pets.
Snake oil disappears down the drain:
we’re transported into mortal again.

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

Harry Haller

Pen,
I half like this. The sound is killing it. It's too heavy and doesn't sound natural at all.

Pearls, plucked from sea bottom beds:
landlocked between cultivated breasts.

I like these two lines a lot but can't figure out a way to get the sound right.
Pearls are plucked from sea bottom beds
landlocked between cultivated breasts

I think cultivated is the perfect word for these two lines but the sound isn't working. I don't really have a solution. I would suggest reworking the entire scheme to something more fluid and less constrictive. That is when your poetry is generally at its best. I like the message. I think it is worth another go. Maybe something that is more expanded on less examples. This would give you more freedom so that you can complete the thoughts without such a struggle. Know what I mean? You'll have more places that you can go if you use less examples. Expand its beauty, the message is pretty clear already. I hope this helps.
Regards,
Skylor

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Being deep and appearing deep.--- Whoever knows he is deep, strives for clarity; whoever would like to appear deep to the crowd, strives for obscurity. For the crowd considers anything deep if only it cannot see to the bottom: the crowd is so timid and afraid of going into the water. -Nietzsche

Penelope

You are always helpful. Thanks. This began as a poem about ammolite and I posted it - then went back and did a re-write with the gemstone in mind. Just had to get this out of my head if you know what I mean.

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

Harry Haller

Pen,
I thought this was about sacrificing animal lives for a little couture. The irony and general stupidity of it. I've always thought that women's love for diamonds was a little misplaced. Not only because I don't think they should be so fascinated by shiny objects, but because of the amount of blood that is on them. I may write a poem about it someday but the inspiration hasn't slapped me in the face yet. I guess what I am getting at is if you are telling me that this poem is simply about a gemstone, then I don't believe you. I'm sure it is much more than that. I do know what you mean though.
Regards,
Skylor

__________________
Being deep and appearing deep.--- Whoever knows he is deep, strives for clarity; whoever would like to appear deep to the crowd, strives for obscurity. For the crowd considers anything deep if only it cannot see to the bottom: the crowd is so timid and afraid of going into the water. -Nietzsche

Penelope

The original thought was about the gemstone ammolite and I got off track somewhere .. so I just got it out .. and then went back to my first idea.

I'll be posting that poem a bit later.

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

TMMC

That's what I LOVE about it.

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I was told my last signature was less than impressive. Maybe this one is better....

Jimbob

Penelope,
This could be stronger if it were more subtle. In almost every verse, you're telling the reader how to feel. Less preaching and more suggestion could give it more power.

Jimbob

Penelope

I agree totally Jimbob.

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

ross

It's very powerfull and damning. I think you deliver the conclusions in a slightly uncompromising way, rather than allow the reader to find them for themselves. It's a protest song!!!
I didnt get the meter although I'm not much of a writer of poetry myself... so here's a big pinch of salt to take me with!!!

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Penelope

ross - I love gems and semi-precious stones (except diamonds) so I'm damning myself too. No fur coats for me though!
TMMC - I'm glad you liked this.

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

ms. vodka

i love to read your work aloud, pen. it's like a playground for my mouth, and this is no exception.

this is going to sound sooooooooo ass-kiss, but i am truly a fan of your work.

you wind exceptional imagery together with flawless style and a huge amount of talent and knowledge. i never tire of reading you.

it's nice to have you about.

(but i still am not going to switch my avatar... yet. )

jen

Penelope

aww .. thanks Jen. I'm not too thrilled with this poem myself but I'm glad you like it. The differences of opinion always make life interesting.

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight