Politics - Writers Forum

Pawn · 11-21-2005, 01:20 PM

if empty prevailing swing,
to right and left, yes,
made a final, monumental stand,
rallying in a fit of strongly held ideals,
then it would dispense with the breakfast bars,
the stale croissants and Ethiopian Java,
it would take a needle to its arm,
and, potent on caffeine and adrenalin,
rape the passers by.

murdershewrote2005 · 11-21-2005, 01:35 PM

HAHA...I beat Jen!!! I must say, you use your words beautifully...I have never commented before because your talent scares me quite a bit, in a good way of course. I find it quite difficult to believe you're the same age as I am...good work Cantlin...

Jess

ThatSmokingGuy · 11-21-2005, 02:26 PM

It's well worded but I'm not sure I get it. My interprutation would be: all that political pathos behind cafe chats (chats about state politics, or personal politics) hides more sinister motivations. If that's true then I agree with the spirit of the poem, tho it should be noted I've only just started reading verse and would like a little enlightenment, if you feel like it of course.

Pawn · 11-21-2005, 03:44 PM

For me, this poem is about the extremes of belief. On the one hand, we have politics reduced to 'empty swing': the meaningless chit-chat of the business-lunchers. On the other, the converse absolute: unmitigated uniliteralism - rape. It is both an attack on contemporary apathy and historical absolutism. More than this though I think it is a rally against cowardice. Now that I explain it, it surprises me that I wrote it. This really isn't my territory. Hopefully the poem succeeds in as much as bringing such theoretical nonsense into personal territory.

Many thanks for the charming comment, Jess. It is my continual aspiration to be as good as you erroneously believe me to be.

Wyndstar · 11-21-2005, 04:03 PM

Oh Jess, scared of--no, no--I'll behave...

I didn't have any problem interpreting this poem because as odd as it seems, that's pretty much the only way to look at politics anymore, both are very disconcerting. I can see where the first line could confuse--it takes concentrated effort to read it as its meant. Sometimes, I think it takes a person familiar with your work, Pawn, to understand it. For me, this eloquently gets across the idea. This poem, especially the last line is -what's the word I'm looking for- bludgeoning, but it punctuates the point well.

gohn67 · 11-21-2005, 04:09 PM

Hey Pawn,
just stopping by to say I liked this a lot as always. The details of the stale croissants and Ethiopian Java were great as were the last four lines especially.

Not sure if I totally understand the meaning of your poems half the time, but the words are always very pleasing to read.

11-21-2005, 05:23 PM

there are far too many commas.

if empty prevailing swing,
to right and left, yes,
made a final, monumental stand,
rallying in a fit of strongly held ideals,
then it would dispense with the breakfast bars,
the stale croissants and Ethiopian Java,
it would take a needle to its arm,
and, potent on caffeine and adrenalin,
rape the passers by.

re-reading... pondering... the 'yes' in the second line is pretentious. and by that i partially mean that you don't need it. i would suggest that you don't capitalize ethiopian java, in this case... in light of the general disregard for punctuation and capitalization otherwise.

other than that, i'm sure you are aware that i find this quite refreshing. in fact, the style rather reminds me of my own...

your,
jen

Ilan Bouchard · 11-21-2005, 05:37 PM

Great read Pawn.

Pawn · 11-21-2005, 09:40 PM

See now Wyndstar, even my poetry is elitist

. Thanks, as ever, for the reassuring commentary.

Gohn - nice of you to drop by. You unwittingly corroborate my belief that understanding is hardly a necessity for enjoyment. Hm. On an unrelated note, I can't help but feel that as I remain at Wf.com I grow only more obtuse.

One can never have too many commas, m'dear Jen. You have your unpausing rollercoaster sentences, let me content with rhythm and release. I shan't be submitting to full lower-case anytime soon. The 'yes' is a tad dodgy, yes, but in there for meter more than content.

Pleasure as always, Ilan.

Achilles · 11-21-2005, 09:47 PM

This piece is obscure...I like it. Though not perfectly clear at first read, the word choice gives the correct impression--the extremes of politics.

Truly a good verse.

Achilles

Jimbob · 11-21-2005, 11:43 PM

I think it was H.L. Menckedn who said something like "Politics is a contest between charlatans for the votes of idiots."

salvothasock · 11-22-2005, 12:07 AM

pawn,
i really enjoyed this piece. its been fun trying to interpret this, had some nice images and feelings invoked nonetheless. jolly good
andy

Pawn · 11-22-2005, 11:01 AM

I'm rarely perfectly clear at first read

.

Worthy quotation, JimBob. Thanks for stopping by.

Loving it as ever, Andy. Enjoying the sig.

11-22-2005, 12:16 PM

le sigh.

Quote:

let me content with rhythm and release

you go on with that thur then.

straight pimpin'.

bluewhite · 11-25-2005, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbob

I think it was H.L. Menckedn who said something like "Politics is a contest between charlatans for the votes of idiots."

worthy quotation .