driving to work - haiku - Writers Forum

**Penelope** · 11-16-2005, 07:40 PM

blustery night
tattered leaves scatter
seeking refuge

mN.sparroW · 11-16-2005, 07:56 PM

I think of quiet
Places when I hear this work
Thank you for the thought

Starik · 11-16-2005, 08:22 PM

A death-like autumn
Precedes bitter winter cold
And Spring’s bright re-birth.

I like the vision of "tattered leaves".

Harry Haller · 11-16-2005, 10:06 PM

Hey Pen,
We must think alike. I wrote a similar poem last month that I couldn't quite get right. It is really close though so I'll post it and you will see what I mean. It's called Festival and while the metaphor is more expanded, considering it is much longer than a Haiku, the idea is the same.

I decided not to post it but I will PM it to you so you can see what I mean.
Regards,
Skylor

**Penelope** · 11-17-2005, 08:30 AM

I wrote this haiku based on what I saw the other night driving to work. A gust had caught a collection of leaves and spun them in a chilly circle. All of them were a bit worse for wear because of their 'street' life. Some escaped the wind and skittered away in sorrel tumbles. I couldn't get the image out of my mind, hence this haiku. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Harry, I am indeed flattered that my haiku reminded you of your magnificent poem. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. It was a delight to read. If you don't mind, I'd like to keep a copy of this poem.

Harry Haller · 11-17-2005, 09:00 AM

Of course Pen,
I'm flattered that you liked it so much. I'll be sure to send the "completed" version (if there ever is such a thing) when I can figure out how to rewrite those lines I mentioned.
Regards,
Skylor

**Penelope** · 11-17-2005, 09:11 AM

I can't imagine the poem being improved upon. BTW - I never gush.

Seriously Harry, it's simply one of the best poems I've read in ages. Thanks for letting me copy it to my favourite poem file. I think there are a grand total of four in there and two of them are old classics, one by William Blake and the other by Pauline Johnson. You are in fine company.

bluewhite · 11-19-2005, 12:38 AM

Very great.

**Penelope** · 11-20-2005, 01:37 AM

Thank you bluewhite. I appreciate you letting me know what you thought of this haiku.

salvothasock · 11-20-2005, 02:06 AM

penelope,
this is one haiku i can really... understand
haha
thanks,
andy

**Penelope** · 11-20-2005, 02:09 AM

aww .. that's sweet Andy! I try to appeal to the less appreciative of haiku because - all haiku is about is a moment in time. Something to share with another - like a vignette - saying to a buddy - hey .. I saw some leaves being blown around by a gust of wind and they looked like tattered street urchins. Thanks so much for letting me know that you 'got' it.

eleda · 11-20-2005, 05:01 AM

Hi Pen,

I get pockets of joy here and there whenever I read something that makes me stop and wonder about the ordinary things that I sometimes overlook, and now that I'm seeking a cave of refuge in things poetic, your haiku made me stop, and wonder again.

**Penelope** · 11-20-2005, 06:26 AM

Thanks eleda, while I'm no expert on haiku I do notice things all the time. How they appear to me is often how someone else may view them if they saw it. A shared communication of sorts. Thanks for popping by and letting me know.

gordon · 11-20-2005, 06:47 PM

Pen I think I would have put escape as the last word
G

SaintEnvious · 11-20-2005, 07:16 PM

Penelope,

I'm inspired to share this Haiku (or Senyru? I dunno.);

time to go to work
and sit my way through traffic,
just like all of us

S.