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The love fool's game
Here is my first post on writing forums. I wrote this poem recently and all the feelings are still fresh; so i guess i am looking for you to pick out the bad things which can't see so that i can make it better.
What if your heart were a fool?
If it leapt and screamed and was euphoric at every subtle cue.
If when thrown to the sea it sunk to the bottom like a weight,
didn't even struggle to float because it was too confused to concentrate
If you let love wash over you like the waves creep up the sandy shore.
A fool to fall in love when everything was still so unsure.
Were you dragged beneath the rocky surface?
Soaked in the sun-drenched waves like the dream you cherished.
Filled your lungs with the salt water he'd laid to waste
Drank up all of his words so you could savour that taste
When you beleived those eyes were a mirror reflecting your love
Don't you wish you could have watched it all from above?
Would you have realised what was true?
Seen that the real reason for those hazy eyes was not you?
That every moment you felt, to him was just an awkward pause.
Flitting past your smile he could see all those self-exposed flaws
In your dreams, though he dreamt of you, still awake he sees a friend
In your eyes i see, it's just too easy to pretend.
(any advice appreciated- but dnt be too harsh!)
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