Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 09-21-2005, 04:45 PM   #1
Profound Writer
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: At my desk, with my pen
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,035
103_smalls
Send a message via AIM to 103_smalls Send a message via MSN to 103_smalls
Cut Me Criticism

Every word
passes your lips
like a knife;
Blood to satisfy
your criticism
__________________
GOD HELP ME!

IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS! (but not ms. vodka's)
103_smalls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2005, 05:12 PM   #2
Ink Slinger
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,607
Psycho6058
very short and succinct.
__________________
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke
Psycho6058 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2005, 06:02 PM   #3
Scribe
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 67
TriCloudStar
If I'm not mistaken, there is something wrong with the logical flow in this piece. The word
Quote:
blood
is referencing
Quote:
word
which, I am just guessing, is not what you were going for.
TriCloudStar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2005, 06:51 PM   #4
Ink Slinger
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,827
gohn67 is an unknown quantity at this point
I agree with Psycho's comment. Makes me think what this means. I've read it over 6 times already, I'm addicted to reading this. Can't quite makes sense of it still.

So I guess this means that the words that come out the "you"s mouth are knives and are out to cut the poet or writer. And these words are critism? I'm pretty sure that's what it is.

"Words" is kind of ambigious to me. Because the person could be reading the poem. I thought that at first

The next part I think means that people who critise, do it because they want to hurt people or the narrator in particular?

I liked it even though I don't quite agree with the message.
__________________
The Frowning Dog Blog
gohn67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2005, 07:03 PM   #5
Scribe
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 67
TriCloudStar
Quote:
The next part I think means that people who critise, do it because they want to hurt people or the narrator in particular?

I liked it even though I don't quite agree with the message.
I'm pretty sure his "you" is a specific reference. As far as I can tell, he doesn't mean to imply what you are saying. Correct me if Im wrong Smalls.
TriCloudStar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2005, 07:16 PM   #6
Ink Slinger
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,827
gohn67 is an unknown quantity at this point
Good point, I didn't think of that possibilty, TriCloudStar. I think if it is like that, then there should be some reference, that he is talking to someone in particular. Because it can get confusing, evidenced by both our interpretations of the "you"
__________________
The Frowning Dog Blog
gohn67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2005, 09:13 PM   #7
Profound Writer
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: At my desk, with my pen
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,035
103_smalls
Send a message via AIM to 103_smalls Send a message via MSN to 103_smalls
UPDTATE:


Each word
passes your lips
like a penetrating knife,
sending flowing blood
to satisfy your criticism

Wow, thanks for all the debate about this... makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, no lie. Lol. The "you" in the poem is meant to represent the world. Like the world is just against the narrator... the narrator would be one of those people who just takes everything anybody says and twists it to mean something against him.

Thanks for the reads and comments everybdoy. And thank you TriCloud for pointing out the unintentional comparison of "Blood" to "Words."
__________________
GOD HELP ME!

IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS! (but not ms. vodka's)
103_smalls is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:06 PM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers