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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
09-21-2005, 04:45 PM
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#1
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Profound Writer
Join Date: May 2005
Location: At my desk, with my pen
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,035
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Cut Me Criticism
Every word
passes your lips
like a knife;
Blood to satisfy
your criticism
__________________
GOD HELP ME!
IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS! (but not ms. vodka's)
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09-21-2005, 05:12 PM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,607
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very short and succinct.
__________________
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke
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09-21-2005, 06:02 PM
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#3
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Scribe
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 67
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If I'm not mistaken, there is something wrong with the logical flow in this piece. The word is referencing which, I am just guessing, is not what you were going for. |
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09-21-2005, 06:51 PM
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#4
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,827
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I agree with Psycho's comment. Makes me think what this means. I've read it over 6 times already, I'm addicted to reading this. Can't quite makes sense of it still.
So I guess this means that the words that come out the "you"s mouth are knives and are out to cut the poet or writer. And these words are critism? I'm pretty sure that's what it is.
"Words" is kind of ambigious to me. Because the person could be reading the poem. I thought that at first
The next part I think means that people who critise, do it because they want to hurt people or the narrator in particular?
I liked it even though I don't quite agree with the message.
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09-21-2005, 07:03 PM
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#5
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Scribe
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 67
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Quote:
The next part I think means that people who critise, do it because they want to hurt people or the narrator in particular?
I liked it even though I don't quite agree with the message.
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I'm pretty sure his "you" is a specific reference. As far as I can tell, he doesn't mean to imply what you are saying. Correct me if Im wrong Smalls. |
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09-21-2005, 07:16 PM
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#6
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,827
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Good point, I didn't think of that possibilty, TriCloudStar. I think if it is like that, then there should be some reference, that he is talking to someone in particular. Because it can get confusing, evidenced by both our interpretations of the "you"
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09-21-2005, 09:13 PM
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#7
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Profound Writer
Join Date: May 2005
Location: At my desk, with my pen
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,035
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UPDTATE:
Each word
passes your lips
like a penetrating knife,
sending flowing blood
to satisfy your criticism
Wow, thanks for all the debate about this... makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, no lie. Lol. The "you" in the poem is meant to represent the world. Like the world is just against the narrator... the narrator would be one of those people who just takes everything anybody says and twists it to mean something against him.
Thanks for the reads and comments everybdoy. And thank you TriCloud for pointing out the unintentional comparison of "Blood" to "Words."
__________________
GOD HELP ME!
IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS! (but not ms. vodka's)
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