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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 09-03-2005, 11:04 PM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: U.K
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unawareobliviousness
Memories Never Forgiven

Forgetting the sins and lies

Forgiving the past mistakes

Healing all the troubled times

Filling the pain-filled lakes.

Never knowing your mood

Or how you may react

Unaware of your changing feelings

A time bomb where ticking is lacked.

The tip-toe days and nights

Seep a shaking shiver

Where frozen tears would fall

Into a blazing river.

One would not be hurt there

No emotions left in the mind

A drained soul and body

With nothing more to find.

Yet you would be watching

Remembering each move, so slight

Though one would never see your face

Beneath the icy moonlight.

Now when forgiveness is asked for
A feeling I wish to offer you

From the throbbing heartache and pain

A clear conscience will never do.

Despite time some things are never forgotten

Engraved on the mind and heart

Even when forgiveness has come and gone

One's memories will never part.
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Old 09-03-2005, 11:11 PM   #2
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Location: The Magic Theater
Posts: 469
Harry Haller
It is difficult to read. Here is a first step just so it is easier to see.

Forgetting the sins and lies
Forgiving the past mistakes
Healing all the troubled times
Filling the pain-filled lakes.
Never knowing your mood
Or how you may react
Unaware of your changing feelings
A time bomb where ticking is lacked.

The tip-toe days and nights
Seep a shaking shiver
Where frozen tears would fall
Into a blazing river.
One would not be hurt there
No emotions left in the mind
A drained soul and body
With nothing more to find.

Yet you would be watching
Remembering each move, so slight
Though one would never see your face
Beneath the icy moonlight.
Now when forgiveness is asked for
A feeling I wish to offer you
From the throbbing heartache and pain
A clear conscience will never do.

Despite time some things are never forgotten
Engraved on the mind and heart
Even when forgiveness has come and gone
One's memories will never part.
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Being deep and appearing deep.--- Whoever knows he is deep, strives for clarity; whoever would like to appear deep to the crowd, strives for obscurity. For the crowd considers anything deep if only it cannot see to the bottom: the crowd is so timid and afraid of going into the water. -Nietzsche
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Old 09-03-2005, 11:17 PM   #3
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vintage_daydreamer
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Hey Harry Haller, why are you up so late? This is vintage_daydreamer's assisstant publicist.

Nice re-arranging of this poem... did you even read it?
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i figure once you start fighting your always defending yourself
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Old 09-03-2005, 11:28 PM   #4
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Harry Haller
Quote:
Originally Posted by vintage_daydreamer
Hey Harry Haller, why are you up so late? This is vintage_daydreamer's assisstant publicist.

Nice re-arranging of this poem... did you even read it?
I'm always up late.
*laughing*
I got halfway and couldn't do it anymore. Are you saying that this is an intentional symbolism of parting. If so then I think it needs to be much more subtle. It hurts more than it helps.
I'm not seeing your point. I didn't offer advice. I only cut out space to make it simpler to read.
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Being deep and appearing deep.--- Whoever knows he is deep, strives for clarity; whoever would like to appear deep to the crowd, strives for obscurity. For the crowd considers anything deep if only it cannot see to the bottom: the crowd is so timid and afraid of going into the water. -Nietzsche
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Old 09-03-2005, 11:36 PM   #5
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vintage_daydreamer
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Same, its 5am wheer i am. what time is it for you.

Vintage_daydaremer and i are cutting holes in books...


Good on ya for cutting out the space and all that... good on ya for making life simpler.

do you ever read the poems then?


have you read my shit poem yet - all of the diamonds?
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