Burnz

Man-Eater


They walk fluidly
through my line of sight.
cocky strut mimicking
a rooster in the henhouse.

Chatting in some garbled
language that sounds hostile.
reeking of chemicals used to
hide the underlying stench.

It has been days
since my last meal.
my stomach is rubbing
against my spine.

My haunches are flexed
ready to launch my
glorious form through the air.

One from the group stumbles
and I see my chance to strike.
I leap from the underbrush
knocking my prey to the ground.

Skin shreds like paper
under the onslaught of
my massive jaws.
steamy mouthfuls of delicious
meat tumble down my throat,
filling the empty void of my stomach.

I hear shouts from the others
trying to save this one
that is already dead,
my mane is sticky from her blood.

Pain pierces my body
with a white hot heat.
my own blood rushes out
just like my will to live.

__________________
"It's none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way."
-Ernest Hemingway

www.scorpology.com
www.clevelandchatters.com My Hangout

Psycho6058

I think I knew the same girl. Nicely done Burnz.

__________________
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke

Burnz

psycho-

I think that we have all met the man eater at one point or the other. Thanks for stopping and commenting

__________________
"It's none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way."
-Ernest Hemingway

www.scorpology.com
www.clevelandchatters.com My Hangout

journyman161

You guys must know some naaassty women if this is about them. *shudders*

I had a little problem correlating the 'walk fluidly' & the 'cocky strut' - for me they aren't the same thing at all. And I'd like perhaps a little more indication of the feral thoughts of the lion, perhaps by labelling the victims more as meat. The perspective seems a bit too human for a starving lion.
But I like the poem a lot, as much for the unusual perspective as the story itself.

This is one bit that seems to have too human a touch; would a lion hear it as any kind of language or just 'monkey' noises?
Also, the chemicals may be 'stench' but to a starving lion, the underlying smell would be of meat & so very attractive rather than a stench.

__________________
*He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
*Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
*Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it - Moses Hadas
*He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know - Abraham Lincoln

Burnz

Journeyman

Nah, I really don't know a woman that fits the mold, LOL. I do agree with you though. Maybe I should reword the part about stench. Maybe he thinks it smells delicious. I'll think about it a bit. Thanks for the comments and for stopping by.

__________________
"It's none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way."
-Ernest Hemingway

www.scorpology.com
www.clevelandchatters.com My Hangout