The Belly Dancer - villanelle - Writers Forum

**Penelope** · 08-21-2005, 12:09 AM

Murmuring velvet desire
in a breathless blue veil.
Secrets of silky sapphire.

Cobalt flashes with fire.
Silver shimmers exhale
murmuring velvet desire.

Diaphanous gyre
azure weft and wale.
Secrets of silky sapphire.

Fervent strums of the lyre
on a rendezvous scale
murmuring velvet desire.

Indigo pyre
charmed ankles entail
secrets of silky sapphire.

In a chiffon mire
a dervish female
murmuring velvet desire
secrets of silky sapphire.

30/10/03
PFA

Burnz · 08-21-2005, 12:26 AM

Pen,

That was a lovely job. I am not clear on the properties of the villanelle or I would be able to comment more eloquently. Could you elaborate the style? I loved the images it brought to my mind.

**Penelope** · 08-21-2005, 12:34 AM

Thanks - a villanelle is a 19 line poem that has the first and last line of the first stanza repeated alternately through and then repeated again together in the final two lines. Each stanza is three except for the last and rhyme follows suit. It's one of the more difficult rhyming formats because of the rhyming. I've written several since I tripped over a villanelle at another writing site in 2003. This is one of my early ones.

Jaz · 08-21-2005, 05:29 AM

hey..

nice job, if I may say..
also thanks for the lovely information about the villanelle ..

but for me it's still hard to completely get the whole idea..

Thank you..

Psycho6058 · 08-21-2005, 06:52 AM

Tough style to work with, I think you did a good job.

**Penelope** · 08-21-2005, 02:07 PM

Jaz - I know what you mean. I still have to have a villanelle example in front of me when I compose one. Each time I try a new poetry scheme, I've found a lot of good references by doing a net search.
Psycho - Thanks - I find that just about any topic can be worked into a villanelle - this one was a trial because it was early days for me.

bobbiego · 08-21-2005, 02:21 PM

Pen,

I just want to say this is very well done, and if I might someday, when I get brave, ask you for help with some of the forms that I struggle with? You seem to just flow in your formal poetry writing, just as you do in this fine villanelle. I think I am a lazy "poet. It take dedication and time to write form.
You do it so well!

secrets of silky sapphire. " what great illiteration.

Bobbie

**Penelope** · 08-21-2005, 03:02 PM

Bobbie - I would be delighted to be of any help I can. Truly. I am a self taught poet who came into this adventure rather late so I'm doing my damndest to catch up! To me, the way to enlightenment is to explore all the avenues available. I'm a rhymer by inherent design and never stray too far from where I'm most comfortable. oh yes - I love alliteration too!

dannyboy · 08-21-2005, 06:45 PM

well done Pen

I knew this girl once for money and fun
she changed her name and became a belly dancer

imagine my suprise when one evening eating with someone
and the belly dancer came to our table and gave us a special treat

Unpretty Girl · 08-21-2005, 06:59 PM

I'd like to try that style sometime. Thanks for the info and the beautiful example! I really like the way that you used different colors, and the descriptions of them in the works. Wonderful job!
~Unpretty

**Penelope** · 08-21-2005, 08:34 PM

Thanks Danny, belly dancing is quite popular here at the Greek restaurants and they travel from one to another doing their act.
'Unpretty' - this villanelle is based on a real bellydancer who wore different shades of blue in layers. Thanks for your comment and I'm pleased you liked it.