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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
08-20-2005, 06:06 PM
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#1
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,607
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Ashes to Ashes
Conceived in the backseat
of a worn-out Cadillac
his father ran away from home
his mother was on crack.
His whole life was a Potter’s field
overgrown with weeds
and there wasn’t anyone
to take care of his needs.
No one was surprised
that he grew up as a thief;
he gave his family nothing
except agony and grief.
One day in a botched attempt
to rob a jewelry store
he murdered the store’s owner
for the Rolex that he wore.
No one seemed to miss him
when they sent him off to die
and when they strapped him down
there was no one there to cry.
They took him to that Potter’s field
and laid him in the ground
now he’ll spend eternity
with nobody around.
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All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke
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08-20-2005, 06:23 PM
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#2
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Scribe
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ♠ Land of Woe ♣
Gender: Male
Posts: 87
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hey..
sad.. so sad..
the problem is, that it does not make any sence for him to die, it wasn't his mistake in the first place.
but what worse, that the cycle is keep on goin, like it never stops..
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"Tomorrow never comes untill it's too late..."
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08-20-2005, 08:14 PM
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#3
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Scribe
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Halloweentown
Posts: 65
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A sad story...but all too common, unfortunately. Well written, with a great flow to it. Good work!
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~*~*We could be perfect one last night/And die like star crossed lovers when we fight/And we can settle this affair/If you would shed your yellow take my hand/And the we'll solve the mystery of laceration gravity/This riddle of revenge, please understand it has to be this way*~*~
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08-20-2005, 09:21 PM
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#4
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Ohio
Gender: Male
Posts: 561
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Shows how troubled youth today aren't strong enough to rise up out of the situation they are born into, instead they are content. No self respect for themselves to drag their lives out of the gutter and ending their existence, that made no impact on anybody, except a negative one. Good write psycho.
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08-21-2005, 06:59 AM
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#5
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,607
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Thank you all for the remarks.
__________________
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke
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08-21-2005, 07:56 AM
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#6
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Writer
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 40
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Man that was good! I love the first verse. Such imagery. Give yourself a pat on the back.
__________________
"Hubert Cumberdale, you taste like soot and poo."
"Ooooh, that was a treat for the fingers."
"Do you not like my mouth words?"
"rusty kettle...(scratch scratch)... ooooaaaahhhh"
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08-21-2005, 10:42 AM
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#7
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,607
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Thank you very much Evan
__________________
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke
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08-21-2005, 12:35 PM
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#8
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back 'home' on Tinian!
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,445
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sad, but true, wayne...
if you don't mind, i'd like to address burnz's post...
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Shows how troubled youth today aren't strong enough to rise up out of the situation they are born into,
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...of course, they're not... how could they be, when that's all they know?... and when strength has been beaten out of them by both physical abuse and grinding poverty?...
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instead they are content.
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...this is simply not true for many... i've worked with kids like this in the ghettos of the south bronx and with other hopeless ones on the hopi plateaus... and i've lived with the adults they became, in my years there and working as live-in staff of homeless shelters... 'content' is one of the last words i'd ever use to describe them!...
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No self respect for themselves to drag their lives out of the gutter and ending their existence, that made no impact on anybody, except a negative one.
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...this is true... and it's not their fault, but our supposedly 'civilized' society's... which makes me madder'n hell...
...also true!
hugs, maia
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08-22-2005, 07:03 AM
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#9
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,607
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Thank you Maia, glad you liked it
__________________
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke
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