mswietek

Holy Smoke

In the solitude
of the evening,
I inhale deeply
on a Montecristo No. 4
and exhale the day,
smoke clinging
like incense.

In the outskirts of Santiago,
old men in straw hats
bend over chipped tables
rolling tobacco leaves,
tunelessly humming
Nuestra Cobardia
in benediction.

As always any comments, suggestions, critiques, and complaints are welcome.

Michael

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"Don't imagine that the art of poetry is any simpler than the art of music, or that you can please the expert before you have spent at least as much effort on the art of verse as an average piano teacher spends on the art of music." - Ezra Pound

Penelope

As a vignette it sets a tranquil scene - the title is at odds with the poem though. The word that comes to mind is flippant. How the imagination connects with what's seen is how poems come about. I can imagine the author taking it all in and chuckling at the word play but it doesn't translate well.

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

mswietek

Thanks for the comments, Pen. The title came first while enjoying the cigar (and yes I did chuckle to myself). Too cute perhaps, I will try and think of something better.

Thanks,

Michael

__________________
"Don't imagine that the art of poetry is any simpler than the art of music, or that you can please the expert before you have spent at least as much effort on the art of verse as an average piano teacher spends on the art of music." - Ezra Pound

Penelope

I imagine these men are cigar makers - right? Do you know they hum such things while rolling the leaves? I guess this is the other thing that made me wonder. Are you, as the author, imagining their reverence for your leisure?

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

mswietek

Yes they are cigar makers. My intent with this was to invoke a sense of the religous. In the second stanza, I wanted to draw a connection between the cigar makers and monks (however tenuous that turned out to be).

I do know that the top cigar makers take an enormous amount of pride in their work. Everything is done by hand and there is definitely an "old world" flavor to the entire enterprise. The humming seemed to fit, but maybe there is a different connection that I can make that will come across as more authentic.

Thanks,

Michael

__________________
"Don't imagine that the art of poetry is any simpler than the art of music, or that you can please the expert before you have spent at least as much effort on the art of verse as an average piano teacher spends on the art of music." - Ezra Pound

Jaz

hey..

first of all, i do enjoy cigar, it's realy good..

second, nice work, 'n good imagenatinon, 'n if u didn't say u were in sandiago, i would pictured my self in cuba..

'n also i liked the first stanza thats all..

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"Tomorrow never comes untill it's too late..."

mswietek

Thanks Jaz, I am glad you enjoyed it.

Michael

__________________
"Don't imagine that the art of poetry is any simpler than the art of music, or that you can please the expert before you have spent at least as much effort on the art of verse as an average piano teacher spends on the art of music." - Ezra Pound