hellfire - Writers Forum

Puppeteer · 08-17-2005, 09:07 PM

i really liek this one its one of my favorites

Not a moment to hesitate
Caring not about my fate
Hoping for a painless death
The relief from that last breath
The belief that I would be saved
Helped to build the road that I paved
The path had only one end
Making no room to mend
The destiny that I had built
Which led my soul to wilt
Falling into the abyss
My life I started to miss
Towers of fire come into sight
knowing now my choice wasnt right
starting to burn i ran out of hope
and the flames started to grope
every last sense of pain
torn with the devil’s bane
freezing yet never frozen
wishing everyday to be chosen
to fly through the sky
or to linger and not die
suffocating with every thought
salvation is all I sought
eternity had passed by
till my soul started to cry
lucky had I been
for Gabriel was without sin
liberating me from the dark
she sang of the ark
and the laws I had broken
to late was I awoken
for hellfire I would not forget
in my heart a new love was now lit
for in my hand was my blade
but my scar could not fade
and when my time came
I saw one single flame
A reminder of my life
And my everlasting strife
But too soon had I lifted
And my soul was now gifted
Gifted with bright wings
And angels that did sing

103_smalls · 08-17-2005, 09:09 PM

I quite enjoyed some of the imagery in this piece... and it did tell a good story. There were some places that I noticed in particular where I was thinking "hmm... he should add the word 'that' in there.." I'd point them all out, but I dont' remember where they all are, plus I wanna make you work more

Anyway, good one Nick!

Puppeteer · 08-17-2005, 09:27 PM

ll yeah i agree "taht" is one of my favorite words to add to a poem i really dont know why but it makes something seem more... ummm formal or soemthing to that nature or elegant.