Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-16-2005, 06:26 AM   #1
Addict
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On my ass, in my chair, online.
Gender: Male
Posts: 155
Pardot Kynes
I like the concept, but the whole thing seems kinda sporadic to me. Try to straighten it out a little.
__________________
http://www.theodore-roosevelt.com/trsorbonnespeech.html
http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/451/451.html

"Quit trying to be as nasty as I am- you don't have my years of practice"- Jubal Harshaw
Pardot Kynes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2005, 09:16 AM   #2
Profound Writer
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: At my desk, with my pen
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,035
103_smalls
Send a message via AIM to 103_smalls Send a message via MSN to 103_smalls
agreed with Pardot, but i did definetely enjoy the last three lines very much, it was a good way of summing up the rest of the poem. good job! Keep 'em comin!
__________________
GOD HELP ME!

IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS! (but not ms. vodka's)
103_smalls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-2005, 09:22 AM   #3
Best Seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: East London
Posts: 629
Sparx
Send a message via MSN to Sparx
I think its really good poetry. I must agree with 103 smalls, the last three lines are really good and do a good job of ending the poem nicely. Well done.
__________________
"KNIVES AND RHYMES"

"poetry or the streets."
Sparx is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:26 AM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers