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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 08-15-2005, 01:06 PM   #1
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WriterX
The Sky Ghost

Read and enjoy...


The Sky Ghost

It watches us
High from the clouds
It decides who is worthy
To join it in the sky

Silent like a thinker
Flies like an eagle
Wise like an owl
No one can match it

Who are you?
You who plays with our fates?
Who makes so important decisions
Based on our lives?

It sits or flies
In deep thought
No one can see it
Nobody can

We see it only once
When we think all is lost
It greets us in its kingdom
And decides what next
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Old 08-15-2005, 11:25 PM   #2
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Posts: 14
clswriter
very good

Wow this is very good. I really enjoy how you make the point without actually saying it. I like that the poem is non threatening. I didn't feel as if you were mokling or belittliing what you were writing about. Very well done.

Silent like a thinker
Flies like an eagle
Wise like an owl
No one can match it
This is the only stanza that confusses me. I feel that he is anything but silent if we can learn to listen. OKay those are my thoughts. Thanks
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Old 08-16-2005, 11:14 AM   #3
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interesting.. i look forward to reading more of your work.

vodka
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Old 08-16-2005, 02:14 PM   #4
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Sparx
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Great poem about the almighty. You have some nice smilies in roaming this peiece, well done. My only beef would be at this stanza:

"It sits or flies
In deep thought
No one can see it
Nobody can"


Do you really need the "Nobody can" line in this stanza. You have told us in the previous line no one can see him, why do we need this last line?

Apart from that, nice work.
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Old 08-18-2005, 08:15 AM   #5
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bobbiego
WriterX,

Who is it indeed. There seems to be a bunch of playing right now. Thanks for a thought provoking poem...

PS. I think he knows what he is doing...
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Old 08-18-2005, 09:22 AM   #6
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writerX..

i don't know.. it's good but i've found it not special or something extraordinary in it..

thanx..
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