Near-Death Experience - Writers Forum

Burnz · 08-14-2005, 02:17 PM

Near-Death Experience

The bar slides across my lap
way too tightly,
like it desires to squish my
thighs just enough to break a femur.

A harness forged in the fires of hell
lowers over my head
crushing the wind out of me and
leaving a tattoo on my sternum.

Clacking and a metallic grinding
make my bowels twist
into a pretzel knot,
causing my stomach to push sour bile.

Up into the clouds we climb
three-dozen lunatics in a chariot
with no brakes, no engine
and no way out.

At the peak, I chance a quick glance.
far below is the ground,
people scurry like ants back and forth
unaware of the attempted mass suicide above.

The car stops for a brief instant,
teetering on the edge of limbo.
Everyone sighs a breath of relief
Replaced quickly by anguished screams
Reminiscent of Dante’s inferno,
As we plunge together into oblivion.

103_smalls · 08-14-2005, 02:23 PM

ha ha ha, I'm goign to Cedar Point in a couple of weeks! This was definetely a good poem, and it made me smile... and I love how you termed it a "mass suicide" that was good

Burnz · 08-14-2005, 02:30 PM

Smalls-

Good luck to you on your trip to cedar point. I can't take the motion of those rides anymore, no desire to go to another amusement park. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

08-14-2005, 02:49 PM

great images, burnz.

as far as amusement park rides go...

uh uh.

not me.

i'm a panicker, and a puker.

nicely done again.

vodka

Burnz · 08-14-2005, 03:15 PM

Vodka-

Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Used to be a time in my life where I could eat a three course meal and then be strapped into a ride that went three thousands revolutions a minute and not feel queasy. Now, just put on anything that makes a little g-force and I'm white as a ghost.

nae411 · 08-15-2005, 10:14 AM

I love riding roller coasters almost as much as I like to have ahem, never mind...

This poem rocks. There is nothing more fun than that feeling right before your body is being pushed downward against your will. I love it !!!! Finally I am not scared, ha! How about that?

Nae ;0)

Burnz · 08-15-2005, 06:48 PM

Nae-

Roller coasters are as much fun as ahem, what? LOL I bet I can still scare you, just give me a bit and I'll crank one out. Thanks for stopping by and commenting, always a pleasure to see ya tink.

nae411 · 08-17-2005, 08:57 PM

For the sake of not losing my moderator status I won't elaborate on "ahem, what?" lol.

I bet you will find a way to scare me. I have faith in you.

Nae ;0)

Burnz · 08-17-2005, 09:10 PM

Nae- I filled in the blank just fine and dandy, wouldn't want to have you sully that pretty mouth with such a word. LOL.