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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 08-12-2005, 02:23 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: philippines
Gender: Male
Posts: 248
peterpaulino
Abridged

Abridged

We were immigrants then,
unversed in a small town;
we might have looked like
an odd young couple
asking for directions,
inquiring about jeepney trip schedules
and wondering at the decreasing price
of mosquito coils.

At a fast-food
we might have resembled
the giggling girl crews’
favorite soap love team:
two iced tea thirsty
partners in crime
charming the crowd
with their sudden break-in.

There being not so much as a taxi to hail,
we argued about the number of meters
each kilometer contained and
that we would have to trudge.
I bet a thousand pesos
insisting it were but a hundred,
so hold on to me,
we’ll soon reach our destination.
I asked you to wager your sweet kiss
because I was confident I’d win
(later when we found out I lost,
you gave to me my prize anyway,
plus a lot more; though,
up till now, I owe you money).

I looked for us a house,
like any other good husband would do.
I found us an abandoned shack
with merely a dusty plywood for a bed.
You found me
with a naughty grin on my face,
beckoning you
to lie down with me right away.



Oh, then,
when we eloped
and cohabited (for a night),
we had our most delightful supper,
together nibbling on mango shortcakes.
Right there and then
I knew it was worth the wait.

My lips on your belly
were worth the loneliest nights
I endured without you.
Our hearts,
which we held inside just one ribcage,
were worth the years spent apart.

Those moments
were indeed worth all the trouble
and even the hurt
the next day when we said good-bye
on a bus to our city,
to our real lives,

in your bag, the unused coils;
in mine, the left-over biscuits.

Despite the human passion consumed,
still we might have appeared
like savages to the world.
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Old 08-12-2005, 09:47 AM   #2
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bobbiego
peterpaulino,

How nice to find a morning filled with poems of love. This is very nicely done. I enjoy the escape into little townsville, where strangers are accepted, and hidden romance can be found in a abandoned house.

The mango's added flavor to the event and the biscuits made it all so real/
I didn't quite get the unused coils...but of no matter, the trip home speaks of the return to real lives, and I enjoyed this trip into love traps.

Bobbie
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Old 08-12-2005, 11:36 PM   #3
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peterpaulino
bobbiego

Hi, Bobbie! thank you for such a profound review. Somehow for me, the left-over biscuits and the unused mosquito coils are a symbol of a short-lived affair, a 'one-night cohabitation' so to speak.

Thank you very much.
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Old 08-18-2005, 09:16 AM   #4
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bobbiego
Ah, Pete now I get it...sorry to have missed the shortness of the affair, all coiled up in mosquito traps.......I still love this poem.

Bobbie
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Old 08-18-2005, 09:29 AM   #5
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Gender: Female
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Peter I loved this when I read it at Pbang and love it even more now. There are a few places that you should subtract a word. I love your stories. Reading you always makes me smile.

Nae ;0)
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