Saturnal

I remember the day
the world washed away.
The oceans combined
to bring me decay.

I held it inside
and rose with the tide.
The crest of a wave
offered a ride.

She told me her name.
She told me she came.
Her lies were divine.
Her lips were insane.

All mouths and tongues,
all breaths and lungs,
and all that we gave
was all for the sun.

__________________
him from the city,
so him gotta be witty

Achilles

Wonderful! I have no suggestions or critiques at all. I liked all the imagery in there, and the flow was flawless.
Good stuff, man.

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The Palace Flophouse

When Newton closed his eyes beneath a tree
and took the apple from the serpent, he
conceived the urge of humanity, plea, plea,
procreant desire and tendency.

Saturnal

Hey, thanks for reading Achilles. Glad you liked.

__________________
him from the city,
so him gotta be witty

Psycho6058

Great rhyme, rythym and imagery, the only part I didn't get was the last line, that didn't make sense to me.

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All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win the world is for enough good men to do nothing...Edmund Burke

Saturnal

Yeah, the last line is just symbolism. The oceans combining...stacking themselves on top of eachother...washing the world away...and a creating a wave that goes as high as the sun.

Saying "all that we gave was all for the sun" is like saying we (2 lovers) lived with lies between us and it burned us in the end.

I think people might read this and think it's about sex, but it's really not. It's mainly about lies. The poem just uses common sexual hints (lips, mouths, tongues, etc.) as a metaphore for the flooding of the world which is a metaphore for lies detroying someone's world and sanity almost. In reality, lips/mouths/tongues are what you tell lies with. So those images are used in 2 different ways. I like doing that in poems because it's more of a challenge. There's also a slight Biblical reference in it too.

__________________
him from the city,
so him gotta be witty