somethingsimple

What I learned as a child
Is a hide-and-seek thing of the past,
My heart so empty, as asthmatic pain,
Cannot be filled with joy, As gladness
isn't anymore



What I learned as a child won't hurt
me anymore I feel if I weep I won't,
Stop crying.

How can I bare my shattered heart when
Its filled with anger inside?

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usernamelessness

"How can I bare my shatter heart when
Its feel with anger inside? "

Did you mean "shattered" and "filled"? Or something else. Firstly, I would love for the grammar to be fixed here.


"What I learned as a child won't hurt
Me anymore. I feel if I weep I won't,
Stop crying."

Usually, i think, a line is considered as a sentence. I have never seen a poem with periods before. Or maybe I am just ignorant... Also why is "M"e capitalized? Other than that this was a great read.

Oh and on a last note: I am not too fond of poems with their beginning and last stanzas matching espescially with a poem this short. But hey, you're choice.

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Just call me Vince...it is easier.

somethingsimple

Thanks for the reply I have fix the errors I'm so sorry about that your comment helped me out a lot.

__________________
http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-writingforlove
http://www.lulu.com/michelleobie

Dreams are who you are in what you are so if you're thinking about giving up then don't because there's always someone there to keep you going.