Mithose

To my Father/ The Poets/ Myself


Cast aside the leaves
Like flaking of their dried faces
___Old;
Now too meaningless to hold
In their pathetic, slow, descent

Cast aside their reason
___Their resolve, like frail flowers
Run ragged by but seasons,
Wasted on the fruits their dry lips tasted,
___In a time before our cares

It is too different now,
In this final of ages, here
We shudder to cast off their bindings
___To be singly defined
Refined without their words to mind
Without a thought of their grotesque decline
___It’s so easy not to need them

Pity’s all I spare them
And there are times I give too much…
There are times mine and their eyes touch,
And the luster -- It appalls me

Like coins,
_________Spent to a fountain
Aging silver, drowned in the clouding ink of night
Humiliated bright faces glazing up
Drool sinking down their face
In lines
In to their white, and crumpled sheets

__________________
Here lies one whos name was writ in water

Sparx

Brilliant poem. The imagery was fantastic and the structure was fitting. My only beef with the poem would be this line:

Was run ragged by but seasons, wasted

This line sounds awkward when i read it. I think its the wording that you have used or you need another comma in that line.

Apart from that, brilliant poem. The imagery was good and you did justice to a very dark subject. Nice work

__________________

"KNIVES AND RHYMES"

Mithose

Thanks Sparx! I'm always worried that when I post on here I'm about to have my ego minced to a fine paste...

I agree totally with your suggestion now that I reread, but I'm having trouble rewording since that sentence is kind of pivotal to the stanza ... I was considering

Cast aside their reason
Their resolve (like frail flowers)
Was run ragged by but seasons,
Wasted on the fruits their dry lips tasted

OR!

Cast aside their reason
Their resolve, like frail flowers,
Run ragged by but seasons, wasted

Suggestions are more than welcome!

__________________
Here lies one whos name was writ in water

Sparx

Cast aside their reason
Their resolve, like frail flowers,
Run ragged by but seasons, wasted

I prefer this line. Sounds much better when i read it.

__________________

"KNIVES AND RHYMES"