Mew_Riles

I look up
To find you looking down
You're eyes are on me
Just as I wish them to be
Maybe we can forget
The nasty things we've said
Or even remember the lovely things we did
But in this moment
All I can remember
Is how pretty your eyes look
When they're looking at me

I look up
To find you werent really there
Just an illusion
A play
A figment of my imagination
I pull the covers tighter
Just to feel some warmth
I imagine that you're holding me
And hope you never stop
As the midnight hour peeks
I'm already asleep
To only find when I look up
That this was all a dream
And you've always been beside me
Fast asleep

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Memories are fickle things. With them you feel as if you could die, and without them you are dead.

You remind me of pizza: You're hot, cheesy, and I love you

I'm sorry if I've upset you; I'm Christian, it was bound to happen.

bLuE_MoOn

Hi ...i really liked this poem its a great idea ..i think however its a bit wordy and some parts dont flow. for example this part
Just an illusion
A play
A figment of my imagination

The last few lines are really good . love the twist ..but the very last line its a bit ubrupt (sp?) ..it ends kind of quickly ..maybe u could make it flow better ..just a suggestion

I love the first two lines the best ...that is a great contrast
I look up
To find you looking down

But overall i think this is an alrite poem.

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A flower may be beautiful all on its own,but a person is never truly beautiful unless someone's eyes show him that he is beautiful. (Incubus Dreams ..Laurell K Hamilton)

Mithose

I really liked the subtle sounds of the poem, such as 'illusion' and 'imagination' or 'peeks' and 'sleeps'. Even 'said' and 'did' was friendly on the ears! Free verse that sounds good?! What is going on here?? ^_^

The line "And hope you never stop " Seemed a little out of place, perhaps just the word 'stop' seemed to poke out to me.

I liked the end, made me smile. Normally word repetition bugs the hell out of me, but *Shrugs* I really liked it.

I look forward to reading more ^_^

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