bettyblack

some are born
with a fervor to extinguish themself
to end the one thing they can hold
i wish i was there with you
where you could no longer see the air in the rafters
to hear the rustling leaves
and wait for my lungs to close so
i could no longer smell the soil
a hand full of sand is nothing
once it slips through the cracks
as it inevitably will
behing the floral curtins all hung with mold
soaked in lye
that will eat your skin
and send tickles up your spine that you’d forgotten how to feel
and if i can’t sleep when the moon is full
i remember the blood between your legs
that night that passed like years
and when her viens gushed poison
she called your name
for perhaps she saw the orange light that you just missed

October Song

Very intriguing. The first two lines drew me in, and I wasn't disappointed in the rest of the piece. Very well crafted, I liked the language you chose.

huni

Fabulous, bettyb. One of the best I've read in a few days. I pretty much loved it all, this stood out for me as it seemed such a juxtaposition to the dark poem.
where you could no longer see the air in the rafters

I had images of soft, lovely dust mote drifting in the air. Lovely.

and this:
a hand full of sand is nothing
once it slips through the cracks

I heard the phrase - dust to dust - go through my mind as I read this. Good use of metaphor. Do more!

warm regards huni.

__________________
each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust

bettyblack

Wow thanks! I wrote this a few months ago actually. I'll post some more soon.