dannyboy

Tears of an Old Spring:

Golden tears float
On the gentlest breeze,
Golden tears caress
The faces of passersby,
Golden tears of beauty
Flutter like honey moths,
Golden tears spiral;
Sad collisions with the earth.

What passes through
The wattle’s mind
On gentle spring days
When warm breezes
Stir senses to red alert?

What does the wattle remember?
Does it see visions of the past?

Is it filled with happy memories
That are hard to bear
Because they have passed?

What causes the wattle
To weep golden tears?

If we could understand the wattle
As it whispers in the summer wafts
Would it bother to tell us
Why it weeps
Or why its tears
Are so deliciously golden?

daz

Without sounding like a complete poof, this sounds..pretty.

kintaris

As always dan i love the imagery and flow, but this time i dont think i can appreciate it until you tell me what a wattle is (excuse my naivety)

__________________
Procrastination
Fear In A Handful Of Dust
Between Heaven and Hell

huni

Danny, this is so nice. Some pathos and sweetness mixed together.

'Sad colllision with the earth' - I can see the thick layer of crusty brown fallen flowers, so different from the lovely fluffy golden blooms that first fell from the wattle tree.
'As it whispers in the summer wafts'. The whispering aliteration and inner ryme is nice in this line.
Your poem reminded me a little of my poem "Spring Writes". Before your time, so I'll put a link for you. warm regards huni.

http://www.writingforums.com/viewtop...104&highlight=

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each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust

dannyboy

thank you everyone - Huni I loved your poem - funny how its always hard to write good poetry in spring. Spot on!

kintaris a wattle is a small tree (many sorts) that blooms with small yellow flowers

huni

Thank you Danny. I might 'bump' it come spring here down under.
By the way, shame on you a poet and writer.

kintaris a wattle is a small tree (many sorts) that blooms with small yellow flowers

What a way to describe our national emblem and a spectacular tree that seems, some-days, to out do the sun.

Kin, try these. I hope they work.


http://farrer.riv.csu.edu.au/ASGAP/jpg/940923a.jpg

http://farrer.riv.csu.edu.au/ASGAP/jpg/860190.jpg

__________________
each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust

dannyboy

yeah but is the floating stuff, got any videos huni?

and I am suitably admonished.

huni

Videos - VIDEOS! What do you mean -videos? What kind of gir.... Oh! Wattle videos, of the stuff falling down? (calming down...) no. sorry.

__________________
each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust

mswietek

Very well done, Danny I liked it quite a bit. The ending is wonderful as it ties everything together, giving the poem added weight.

My one quibble is with the phrase "red alert". I jarred with the sumptiousness of the rest of the poem and made me think of Star Trek.

Michael

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"Don't imagine that the art of poetry is any simpler than the art of music, or that you can please the expert before you have spent at least as much effort on the art of verse as an average piano teacher spends on the art of music." - Ezra Pound

dannyboy

huni - I would never...well not publicly....

Michael - yes red alert - see its a hard one, there is this feeling i sometimes get and also a senstivity to light and its like this red siren just behind my eyelids - its my red alert, time to take a breather, settle down in a cool dark place and rest.

I'll think about a different image.