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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
07-18-2005, 06:52 PM
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#1
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Adrian, Michigan
Posts: 719
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So said the man in the white (possible religious offense)
As always I contribute this work unedited. There is a very large formatting problem that I can't seem to rectify while posting this so I am afraid you might have to navigate the awkward word placement. Keep in mind that this may be offensive to Christians; I am one as well.
The man in the white has spoken
"Let a bridge be built between the three towers
So that the residents within can safely pass between them
And the world shall prosper"
So said the man in the white
"Let a ladder be thrown down the spine of all the towers
So that visitors are made welcome and we shall enrich our culture
And the world shall prosper"
So said the man in the white
"Let the arms you bear be thrown down simultaneously
And the military training you have undergone be snatched from your mind
And the world shall prosper"
So said the man in the white
"Repent! Repent! Your sins must be washed clean
Remain stationary and blindfolded for the time that an army can be built
And the world shall prosper"
So said the man in the white
"It is only by doing this that you shall be given the proper time and format
To effectively meditate to the point of spiritual cleansing with no distractions
And the world shall prosper"
So said the man in the white
"But before doing so, remember to disable the traps and ambushes
That dot your realm, so as violence shall not be condoned
And the world shall prosper"
So said the man in the white
"I am your God, you are my loyal servant and you shall do as I say
No matter what the case, if bad incidents occur, trust me when I say these words
And the world shall prosper"
So said the man in the white
"Do not leap at these words, do not fret over your future
These things will work themselves out in time; you must meditate to no end
And the world shall prosper"
So said the man in the white
And the man in the white did his bidding to their blind eyes and obedient minds
Of his servants; he climbed the ladders and crossed the bridges, he dodged the traps and stormed the camp; he wiped the vicinity clean and prepared to do so again
And the man in the white spoke again
"I would like an ark to be built so that one man shall prosper
So that wrath shall be forgiven and that this species may go on
So that one man's unholy act and venomous rage
Shall be lost in history as the start of something honorable, living anew
So that one man's irrational thinking and swift iron hand
Shall ultimately be successful and do the right thing
So that one man may be worshiped and deified forever
And the unworthy shall be castigated and thrown to the pits
So that happiness will be lost and devotion shall be formed
In the name of one man, whose name shall draw fear and loyalty throughout the Earthland
And one man shall prosper"
So said the man in the white
__________________
"I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state of a small city." -Themistocles
"Conrad transcended all the rules. There have been, perhaps, greater novelists, but I believe that he was incomparably the greatest artist who ever wrote a novel." -H.L. Mencken
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07-18-2005, 07:33 PM
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#2
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Profound Writer
Join Date: May 2005
Location: At my desk, with my pen
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,035
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I like this for three reasons: 1.) It was creative, and well-written... I would be very interested in seeing it in your original format 2.) YOU WENT THERE... I love that.. 3.) Nice little meaning... even if it is going to piss people off
__________________
GOD HELP ME!
IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS! (but not ms. vodka's)
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07-18-2005, 07:55 PM
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#3
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Adrian, Michigan
Posts: 719
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Ah, I see you are one who mocks those who take offense to things... and you live in Michigan, as I do.
__________________
"I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state of a small city." -Themistocles
"Conrad transcended all the rules. There have been, perhaps, greater novelists, but I believe that he was incomparably the greatest artist who ever wrote a novel." -H.L. Mencken
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07-18-2005, 08:01 PM
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#4
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Profound Writer
Join Date: May 2005
Location: At my desk, with my pen
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,035
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by a15haddad
Ah, I see you are one who mocks those who take offense to things... and you live in Michigan, as I do.
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OMFGGGGG!!! I was JUST in Adrian Mi. about a month ago for Wrestling Camp... that's so awesome!
__________________
GOD HELP ME!
IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS! (but not ms. vodka's)
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07-18-2005, 08:07 PM
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#5
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Adrian, Michigan
Posts: 719
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Are you serious? Was it the Adrian High School wrestling camp? If so... my friend was there. EJ Engle.
__________________
"I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state of a small city." -Themistocles
"Conrad transcended all the rules. There have been, perhaps, greater novelists, but I believe that he was incomparably the greatest artist who ever wrote a novel." -H.L. Mencken
Last edited by a15haddad : 12-10-2005 at 08:42 PM.
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07-18-2005, 08:24 PM
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#6
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Profound Writer
Join Date: May 2005
Location: At my desk, with my pen
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,035
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Nah, I was at Bad Boys, at Adrian College
__________________
GOD HELP ME!
IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS! (but not ms. vodka's)
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07-18-2005, 08:26 PM
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#7
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Adrian, Michigan
Posts: 719
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Ah. Adrian College. I went to the basketball camp there the week before, I believe... but that's different. But yes, Adrian College is less than a mile from my house. What did you think of Adrian?
__________________
"I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state of a small city." -Themistocles
"Conrad transcended all the rules. There have been, perhaps, greater novelists, but I believe that he was incomparably the greatest artist who ever wrote a novel." -H.L. Mencken
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07-18-2005, 08:46 PM
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#8
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Adrian, Michigan
Posts: 719
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Anybody else have an opinion? It seems like my posts have gotten no replies lately... c'mon, people.
__________________
"I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state of a small city." -Themistocles
"Conrad transcended all the rules. There have been, perhaps, greater novelists, but I believe that he was incomparably the greatest artist who ever wrote a novel." -H.L. Mencken
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07-19-2005, 04:15 PM
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#9
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Adrian, Michigan
Posts: 719
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...
__________________
"I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state of a small city." -Themistocles
"Conrad transcended all the rules. There have been, perhaps, greater novelists, but I believe that he was incomparably the greatest artist who ever wrote a novel." -H.L. Mencken
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07-19-2005, 05:41 PM
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#10
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Profound Writer
Join Date: May 2005
Location: At my desk, with my pen
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,035
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by a15haddad
Ah. Adrian College. I went to the basketball camp there the week before, I believe... but that's different. But yes, Adrian College is less than a mile from my house. What did you think of Adrian?
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You met my friend Julie at basketball camp 
I liked Adrian.. quite a nice place
__________________
GOD HELP ME!
IT'S THE SOUND THAT MAKES ME PUNCH INFANTS! (but not ms. vodka's)
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07-19-2005, 06:43 PM
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#11
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Adrian, Michigan
Posts: 719
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Actually, my best friend went to Adrian College Bad Boys camp. Name's EJ Engle.
__________________
"I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state of a small city." -Themistocles
"Conrad transcended all the rules. There have been, perhaps, greater novelists, but I believe that he was incomparably the greatest artist who ever wrote a novel." -H.L. Mencken
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08-01-2005, 06:38 PM
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#12
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Adrian, Michigan
Posts: 719
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Bumpage
__________________
"I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state of a small city." -Themistocles
"Conrad transcended all the rules. There have been, perhaps, greater novelists, but I believe that he was incomparably the greatest artist who ever wrote a novel." -H.L. Mencken
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