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I found it took me 3 reads to get through this with some sense of what was being said. To make it, I read each 2nd line, as I found the repetition irksome.
Also, it makes it difficult to keep your reading line when both above & below are almost identical. (& there's nothing wrong with my vision) so I imagine for those with some eyesight difficulty, the mass of text would be hard to read.
I think if you made each thought stand by itself then followed with the followups, it would have more impact than the repetition
eg.
I am calling out to you, but you don’t hear me
My voice is an echo that only I can hear
I am just a piece in your imaginary world
Your body bleeds into mine without recognition of touch
I am crying out to you, but you don’t hear me
The sounds coming from me are distant noises in your past
My body sheds no light, like my eyes shed no tears
Our souls are too different to ever become one
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*He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
*Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
*Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it - Moses Hadas
*He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know - Abraham Lincoln
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