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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 06-17-2005, 01:51 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 66
Craiglet
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Death of Addiction

Death of Addiction

I lay my trust,
In this sudden gust,
Of revival and passion.

A few soft words,
Can dismantle the herds,
And bring you back to me.

With the passing hour,
Your heart beats sour,
I have the blade again.

Give to the angry tone,
Strike my soul like stone,
Crumbling at your feet.

A broad theme anthology,
I accept your apology,
And the twisted road continues.

On towards the castle,
Home to the hassle,
With me is anger’s bane.

Soft and sweet I kiss,
And the demons hiss,
I cannot look back now.

Anger fed darkness fades,
Into Resolution’s blade,
I get my baby back.
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Old 06-17-2005, 03:43 PM   #2
Ink Slinger
 
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Psycho6058
I like it all but the last line.......that seems a little, I don't know, 1950s rock and roll....Anyway, the rest I like a lot.
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Old 06-17-2005, 05:33 PM   #3
ms. vodka
 
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i think you have a lot of talent and potential... just keep an eye on those nasty cliches...

i like your style,
vodka
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Old 06-20-2005, 10:35 AM   #4
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Location: U.S.A.
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Craiglet
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How does "I've reached my Nirvana" for the last line sound instead? I really can't think of anything.
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Check out my novels and anthologies: www.craigyscraze.tk

Or read my poetry:
www.xanga.com/poet1c_trag3dy
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Old 06-20-2005, 10:39 AM   #5
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Drucifer
I liked everyting up to the last stanza... then it seems a bit cliched. But, overall, I did enjoy it.
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