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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 06-04-2005, 10:16 AM   #1
Ink Slinger
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,607
Psycho6058
The Last Page

The silence in my room
(Sense of impending doom)
Burns my brain like summer melting spring.

But as I look outside
(Looking at the human tide)
Death seems somehow like a welcome thing.

The city’s ebb and flow
(On the street below)
Resonates with sound I cannot hear.

And all the neon lights
(And other normal sights)
Just make me drop my head and shed a tear.

How can you justify
(I want one reason why)
The burden of the illness I must bare?

My life was going well
(Now I’m living in a hell)
And I can only look outside and stare.

My clock is winding down
(As I look across the town)
Trying to ignore the burning pain.

And now the time is right
(Looking out into the night)
As I smile and put a bullet in my brain.
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Old 06-04-2005, 07:23 PM   #2
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
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This is excellent. The bulk of the poem means this is not a sad ending but one almost required.

I haven't even experienced a major illness; having an on-going incurable one would freak me a bit I think. The narrator here seems to have lived with it long enough to have lost the primal scream I'd be emitting at the unfairness.

No critique; I wouldn't change a thing.
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*He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
*Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
*Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it - Moses Hadas
*He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know - Abraham Lincoln
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Old 06-06-2005, 08:11 AM   #3
Ink Slinger
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southern California
Gender: Male
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Psycho6058
Thanks Mark, the interesting thing was since I've been disabled for a couple years now relatives that read this thought I was suicidal and I started getting phone calls from folks I haven't heard from in a while. Hmmmmm??? maybe I'll have to write more like this. LOL
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