beasty_beats

the boy in the corner, with no-one to play;
alone with his soldier, each every day;
imagination running out, no refill for him;
the soldier is old, nearly time for the bin;
his classmates ignore, the special boy;
whose only friend, is a broken old toy;
one single tear, cascades over his cheek;
he's noticed once more, summer is bleak;

ignored in the corner,
nobody cares,
he won't ask to play,
won't even dare,
lets leave him they say,
the sun's in the sky,
never to know,
today's his demise.

__________________
with all that happens around i stand strong and cannot be knocked down

journyman161

The ending is chilling. I wasn't expecting it to head that way. I'm kinda glad you didn't have a 3rd verse.

//imagination running out, no refill for him; meter - perhaps something like 'his dreaming runs out...' or 'imagining runs out...'

//his classmates ignore, the special boy; I think 'this special boy' runs better

//one single tear, cascades over his cheek;
he's noticed once more, summer is bleak;
Meter conflicts, perhaps -
one single tear, cascades down his cheek;
he's noticed once more, his summer is bleak;

__________________
*He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
*Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
*Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it - Moses Hadas
*He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know - Abraham Lincoln

ms. vodka

god this is so sad... his parents really need to organize a play date or something...

regardless, i think it's well written... just sad.

vodka

mybluehell

this reminds me of too many people i grew up with. they were the kids that stuck to the shadows like lepers and i was ridiculed for taking time out to hang out with them so they didn't go crazy.

fucking sad stuff. i hope this wasn't you, but if it was i think you must have grown extraordinarily from the experience.

i agree that this is perfect without a 3rd verse, and even though the first time i read it i wasn't really struck at all by the 2nd...upon rereading it i felt the power of it's simplicity and change in meter.

__________________
“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix; angel-headed hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dyn” -Alan Ginsberg

my music
http://www.myspace.com/BlueIsNaked

beasty_beats

it was never me in the corner, i just noticed a few when i was in college and thought i would represent them in the most powerful way i know.

__________________
with all that happens around i stand strong and cannot be knocked down