trip 704 - Writers Forum

dannyboy · 05-19-2005, 07:31 PM

Touch turns liquid;
fingers press beyond outer surfaces -
enter the heart of matter,
like trees
and hugs
and welcoming bark
and colours dancing around like bees
and voices
faraway and close together.
Skin
velvet, coarse and wishing to be licked
especially strangers
as they pass by in the street
while I frolic unsteadily;
a broken trapeze artist,
a tightrope walker
falling, falling
falling while standing, needing to sit
still and full of movement,
‘Hello Alice,’
and landing hard upon my lounge room floor.
Home again bewilderment,
a friend turned enemy because he did not dare
and now I stare
and read the damning judgement of him
until a pen beckons and I draw
twirls and swirls and spots and dots and
it all makes sense at the time;
a perfect collection of ink -
a picture,
until the chemicals wear off
and I face
the scribbles left behind.

Pawn · 05-19-2005, 07:34 PM

Your poetry is surpassingly difficult to comment on. Ever am I reduced to the thought 'That was good.'

And it was.

dannyboy · 05-19-2005, 07:37 PM

thank you Pawn, all i can say is that this site has been a Godsend. I can feel the poet in me shrugging off the past few years of foot tapping and getting back into it again.

Pawn · 05-19-2005, 07:56 PM

That's truly nice to hear. If you have any other thread ideas like the 'Unification with God' poetry that you posted a while back, don't be afraid to post away. I like suggested themes as writing stimulants, and would be willing to Sticky it for a week or so to get some interest.

dannyboy · 05-19-2005, 09:55 PM

yeah I'll pm you when I get the next one sorted.

danny.

Rico · 05-20-2005, 08:31 AM

interesting to read all these poems...yours, Jorge's, mybluehell's. The similiarities and differences between each are striking.

Quote:

I draw
twirls and swirls and spots and dots and
it all makes sense at the time;
a perfect collection of ink -
a picture,
until the chemicals wear off
and I face
the scribbles left behind.

absolutely. Some of the stuff done when high is just...wow...crazy stuff.

now you've done yours...time for me to do mine.

good job, dannyboy

dannyboy · 05-20-2005, 08:53 AM

go for it!

mybluehell · 05-20-2005, 11:29 AM

I LOVE IT! these just keep getting more and more fun. i need to dig out my old scribblings from my high school all nighters, i haven't had a lot lately it seems.

Quote:

Skin
velvet, coarse and wishing to be licked
especially strangers

i know this feeling all too well. when i read these lines i couldn't help but smile. fantabulous job Dannyboy. i think you and Luis caught the subject like a deer in headlights. good stuff.

dannyboy · 05-20-2005, 07:50 PM

thank you mybluebell - It took a few days of cow-chewing before the feeling came back - its been what? 18 years since i last tripped the light fantastic...