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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
03-09-2005, 12:14 PM
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#1
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Annapolis
Posts: 328
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Saccharine
Coat it all in sugar;
a honey dipped supreme.
Sink it into caramel
and flood it with caffiene.
Drench it all in syrup
the Aunt Jemima kind
Slather it in frosting
and bits of lemon rind.
Smear on a pat of butter
and bake it in a cake.
Fill it up with half and half
and see what you can make.
Deep fry it in hot oil,
and eat till you are full.
But remember when you choke it down
it's still a load of bull.
__________________
DELICIOUS
-CFH
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03-09-2005, 02:28 PM
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#2
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Annapolis
Posts: 328
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Thanks, guys!
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DELICIOUS
-CFH
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03-09-2005, 03:15 PM
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#3
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,826
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I really liked the playful stlye of the poem. I liked it alot, short and simple.
Quote:
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and flood it with caffiene.
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my favorite line.
I think I would die if I ate that.
Quote:
But remember when you choke it down
it's still a load of bull.
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This was the only line that I just had trouble understanding.
What is a load of bull? I just can't see how bull relates to this food you are describing. |
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03-09-2005, 03:25 PM
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#4
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,826
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^Oh, thats what I was thinking too at first. BUt I thought that can't make sense. So I threw that thought away. Yea but now after I think about it, it makes alot more sense.
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03-09-2005, 03:31 PM
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#5
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Annapolis
Posts: 328
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It just basically means that no matter how you try to sugar-coat or embellish bullshit, it's still bullshit.
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DELICIOUS
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03-09-2005, 03:32 PM
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#6
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In this body...
Posts: 327
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Lol.
Nice.
I like this.
__________________
Primarily I'm here for the doughnuts and the duck-dog.
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03-10-2005, 10:37 PM
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#7
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Forum Hottie
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,522
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Chelsea this is wonderful, sugarcoat or not you are right, bullshit is still bullshit.
I can't wait to read more of you. I like your style.
Nae
__________________
Years of practice only to find, practice is for amateurs. Live life without a script...
Renae L. Soler
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03-10-2005, 11:25 PM
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#8
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Annapolis
Posts: 328
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Why thank you Nae!
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DELICIOUS
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03-12-2005, 07:47 PM
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#9
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Mar 2005
Gender: Private
Posts: 201
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heh. This is actually pretty wicked. I'm a sucker for anything describing food, actually. Food makes for vivid imagery. And the bitter core quite balances the sugary sweet images.
__________________
Only in spiritual terror can
the truth
come through the broken mind.
~ W.B. Yeats
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03-15-2005, 05:11 PM
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#10
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 216
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Absolutely lovely.
I figured you were talking about candy up until the last two lines.
Way to surprise me.
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Darling, we love you.
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03-15-2005, 06:08 PM
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#11
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Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,222
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A witty, funny piece on bullshit. Well done and well said.
warm regards,
bob
__________________
Nature weeps, the devil sings
at man’s greed and pride
and what it brings
Just lots of useless
little things…
God is Dead; He died yesterday from Nothing...
http://theoddvillepress.com
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03-16-2005, 06:08 PM
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#12
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Addict
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 185
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this was great, i can't help but admire its relevance.
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