Eiji Tunsinagi

I like it, but just want to be assured it's okay...


Dull sunlight, filtered backwards
sliding between rain soaked windows
dancing down dusty palm leaves.
Potential, floating idle in empty rooms
between empty corridors.

High skyscraper, empty complex
pieced together with fear and uncertainty
the foundation where work will begin.
Potential, to create from empty rooms
between empty corridors.

__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."

"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"

Farror

"Dull sunlight, filtered backwards
sliding between rain soaked windows
dancing down dusty palm leaves."

Here I was bombarded with contradicting imagery. Is that your intention?

Also, I think a two stanza poem is too short for that much repetition. It make a quarter of the poem repetition.

The lines had a nice rythm to them though, and I liked the feel of it. It flowed. Thanks.

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A minifridge... The doll house of the alcoholic.

Eiji Tunsinagi

Thanks, Farror. It was my intention for the description, mostly just to evoke some sort of mood, and now I'll consider taking out the repetion lines.

Thanks

__________________
"nothing is perfect, nothing lasts, and nothing is finished."

"how will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?"