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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
02-19-2005, 11:44 PM
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#1
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,581
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Lucky Charms.
This is a Valentine's day poem I wrote for my friend's boyfriend.
I want to catch your Lucky Charms,
they're magically delicious-
Because you're part of a balanced breakfast,
your body's quite nutritious.
Just felt like sharing.
Oh. He's Irish.
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02-19-2005, 11:46 PM
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#2
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Banned
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: wouldn't you like to know? hehe...
Posts: 2,597
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bodie? darling demonic, its called spelling. use a dictionary. hehe. 
other than that, it was funny.
yeh, think that's about it.
~Crzy |
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02-19-2005, 11:47 PM
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#3
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,581
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i had never met the guy before writing this.
i told her to write him a poem with that as the opening line, and she told me to write it instead and sign it from myself as well.
it was to be humorous.
sorry, crzy. hehe.
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02-20-2005, 10:39 AM
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#4
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back 'home' on Tinian!
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,445
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first your is your
bodies is body's
__________________
For 100% free writing help/mentoring:
www.saysmom.com
"You must BE the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi
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02-20-2005, 12:05 PM
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#5
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,581
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thank you.
i don't even know why i did that to those words.
usually i'm the one correcting people on it.
that's scary...
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02-20-2005, 08:30 PM
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#6
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,850
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"you're" means you are. Sorry, felt like pointing that out. When half the poem is from a cereal commercial, it needs some work. 
__________________
A minifridge... The doll house of the alcoholic.
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02-21-2005, 12:24 PM
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#7
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Wordsmith
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back 'home' on Tinian!
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,445
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now your third your needs fixing!... pesky little divils, ain't they?...
should be YOUR body's....
__________________
For 100% free writing help/mentoring:
www.saysmom.com
"You must BE the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi
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02-21-2005, 07:41 PM
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#8
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,581
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WHAT in the HELL????
you all seriously know there is something wrong with me...
if i've EVER talked to you guys, which i HAVE, you know i almost NEVER make these mistakes, and i point them out to others...
what the HELL???
i even wrote it correctly on the paper i gave him.
my brain is going haywire...
grrr...
and by the way, there IS a reason half of it is from a cereal commercial.
he's irish, and he commonly recites the commercial and buys the cereal just because of the lepracaun.
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02-22-2005, 09:07 AM
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#9
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,850
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We're just having fun. Don't you pay any attention to us!
__________________
A minifridge... The doll house of the alcoholic.
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