Kodeir

Orbis

Cloud reflective wave
motions ressonate.
Dark laces, stream from redset
the unknown that still present;
As seeming memory
In this, my pain theory.

Summoning an emotion from inside,
sight conceived.
Inspired thirsting, inner berating,
this lack of capability, under the daylight waining.
Vines rising from an oceans swell,
clasped around her body fragile.
Hallucinations pull away,
my want for her to be safe.

Orbis in the distant,
chilled by the frosts of darkfall.
Beacon in the waters, sinking into the ocean maw.
Watching for a moment, one of depressing clarity;
she vanished from this mental recess, into my arms, a shadow cast in midnight clouds.
From shaft of moonlight I release, and forego myself of inner peace...
For pain theory.

Penelope

hmm ... okay .. first off an edit is in order .. I'll do one line to give you the idea.

She vanished, into my arms, a shadow cast by midnight clouds.

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

Penelope

another thing

Cloud reflective wave - there should be a plural somewhere. I'd ditch the second line too.
Dark laces, stream from redset.
The unknown will present,
as seeming memory,
pain theory. <--- I wanted to slip the word therapy in place of theory. I liked the idea.

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

Kodeir

Revised... differently... but still revised.