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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 02-16-2005, 09:07 PM   #1
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morning

The dew settled down
The fresh fragrance of flowers
waking up from sleep.
The curtain clouds drawing back
A new day has come.
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Old 02-17-2005, 01:01 AM   #2
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Cliched, throwaway, uninspiring.

I'm probably being too curt, but I have to be honest.
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Old 02-17-2005, 02:22 AM   #3
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actually im going to have to agree with you on that... im brain dry... any pointers?
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Old 02-17-2005, 10:29 AM   #4
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Morning time isn't just a case of dewey grass, the sun rising and flowers waking up. Explore what else happens in the morning, from a different perspective? Approach the subject from a more original, less cliched angle. Experiment with ideas relating to the morning time that aren't often expressed. I hope that helps put you on a track towards something new.
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Old 02-17-2005, 10:31 AM   #5
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Yeah I don't know you need to expand on this just to short to fit all of the mornings features in it. If you did put more into it I think it would be better. It does have some good parts though, but its just not enough. EXPAND!
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