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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 02-14-2005, 06:53 PM   #1
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ashen
Princess of the widows

She is the princess of the widows
And her heart is clad in ice
She takes the men that love her
And breaks them into pieces
I once tried to melt her heart
But she froze my soul and broke me
"You almost made it in." she said
And I wondered where I'd failed
I'd tell her I do not fear the cold
But there is so much space between us
And even if I could bridge that void
I fear she would not hear me
So I will pick up all the fragments
And piece them back together
And with my hands against the ice
I will stand outside her heart
Looking one last time
And wishing it would melt

I've read some of the comments given to this piece, Here it is again without spacing. But I dont know if I can avoid the ice and heart cliche... Oh and J Luis, self pity and acrimony were perhaps what I was trying to get at when I wrote this... perhaps not I dont really know sometimes. If I went and tried to approach the subject from a different perspective, the end result would be far different and all this would seem rather futile. Cheers for the criticism though comrades.
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Old 02-14-2005, 09:47 PM   #2
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riadohaed
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ouch dude... sounds painful... been there... dont wait around for her... make her wait for you.. if she wont shes not worth it. Good poem i liked it
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Old 02-14-2005, 09:53 PM   #3
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Philo
You've painted a complete and compelling picture of Her Highness.

Brrr.
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:25 PM   #4
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k3ng
its so.. 'ouch'.. lovely poem.
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