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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
02-06-2005, 10:14 PM
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#1
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In Another Land
Posts: 199
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The contortions of Alice
In aural foggy midst
of looped feedback scream
and overdriven amplifier roar,
as the eyes lens shutter closes,
mind dilating in vivid expansion,
body motionless in the darkness,
dimensions of the fractal face
are distorted and contorted
by alice in wonderland syndrome.
She's whispering the disorientating
directions in this game of revelation
where I go every which way,
privy to evolutionary visions,
where the shapes of the head
appear to melt and fold and flow
in a liquid lava lightshow,
subconcious cinema over
schizophrenic soundtrack.
Ingestion induced imagery,
reinventing contours colourfully,
spatial attributes in aleatory freeform,
a detournement of the Eat Me memory,
a statement to the world that reads "detune!"
a meeting with the grand goddess, the architect,
who wistfully whispers warm waves of love,
flooding my minds eye with the fluctating forms
of a self-projected pictorial mind dissolving.
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02-07-2005, 12:34 PM
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#2
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 216
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Your word choice here is excellent. They provoke bizarre images which was the poem's main purpose.
And I loved the alliteration which helped in flow off the tongue.
I can't think of any suggestions as to make the piece better, which means it was quite good. (although I'm not sure as to whether you meant for Alice to be in lowercase, but you probably did)
__________________
Darling, we love you.
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02-07-2005, 03:30 PM
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#3
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Penguin-in-Chief
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Edinburgh
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,530
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'a statement to the world that reads "detune!"'
What else to say? A psychedelic trip in contemporary techni-colour. Great stuff.
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02-07-2005, 06:11 PM
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#4
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In Another Land
Posts: 199
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Thanks for the comments.
I'm not sure if anyone here knows too much about Alice In Wonderland syndrome, but as a short background brief, I found this quote describes the symptoms well.
Quote:
A psychopathological syndrome of distorted space, time and body image. The patient has a feeling that the entire body or parts of it have been altered in shape and size (metamorphosis), associated with visual hallucinations.
Psychoanalytic interpretation by Todd has made more understandable and plausible the illusionary dreams, feeling of levitation, and alteration in the sense of passage of time that Alice experienced. Alice trod the paths and byways of a wonderland well known to Carroll, her creator, who suffered severely from migraine. The majority of patients have personal or family history of migraine.
In Lippman’s report, one of the patients stated that she felt short and wide as she walked, calling this a ”tweedlike dum” or ”tweedle dee” feeling. Associated disorders may include apraxia, agnosia, language disorders, feelings of déjà vu or jamais vu, dreamlike or trancelike states, and delirium.
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As with my I melted once poem, this is another personal account masquerading as poetry, and so it may be hard for the reader to truly connect with the words and feel what I felt, but I hope this latest poem conveys at least some aspects of the experience.
__________________
the tea gods
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02-07-2005, 07:17 PM
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#5
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Penguin-in-Chief
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Edinburgh
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,530
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Very interesting, I assumed you were just taking too many drugs. Thanks for the info.

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02-07-2005, 07:23 PM
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#6
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In Another Land
Posts: 199
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No drugs involved with this one, just the disorientating side effects of my migraines.
__________________
the tea gods
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