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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
02-06-2005, 03:20 PM
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#1
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,581
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Haiku for creative writing class.
We had to write a Haiku for my creative writing class that was more than on stanza, and it had to be about something intangible.
I don't usually write poetry, but here it is. *feels nervous*
I can still see you
Though you were nothing but words
given life by pen,
and death by the same.
Tears falling from my eyes and
becoming your rain.
A setting sun where
ink and page, black and white, sit
idle on my desk,
casts long shadows formed
into twisted shapes on ground
where they laid your grave.
Imaginary,
though I knew your heart so well.
Life destroyed by text.
(if you havent caught on by now, it focuses on when a favourite fictional character of someone dies in a novel)
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02-06-2005, 03:58 PM
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#2
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Penguin-in-Chief
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Edinburgh
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,530
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Sorry to ask an only loosely related question, but is Haiku not by origination the first stanza of a piece, which came to be regarded as an independant poem? Only one stanza, I mean?
Very little wrong with this as a piece of poetry. My only comment would be that I feel the final stanza overstates the point. As is evident above, I don't know anything about Haiku to judge you in that context. Otherwise, nice work.
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02-06-2005, 04:00 PM
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#3
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,581
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haiku is only suppossed to be one stanza.
but dont ask me.
mr cadden had us do it hehe.
thanks, by the way. i know its a bit over dramatic at the end, but its what he wanted.
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02-06-2005, 04:02 PM
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#4
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Penguin-in-Chief
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Edinburgh
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,530
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Well, kindly inform your English teacher for me that he knows nothing, and that there's lots of helpful people at writingforums.com who can help him with his ignorance. You also might want to point out the irony of an American trying to teach a language which you're all so intent on bastardising.

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02-07-2005, 02:27 AM
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#5
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Mentor
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,776
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Ouch Pawn...I absolutely adore the English (tho you're from Edinburgh)
...but don't they also bastardize it...AMERICANS don't speak Cockney I believe!
Grandma Bea
__________________
To a Sr. Citizen, age is an attitude, not a number...To the young, attitude will get you fired!
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