rexkingsley

Day light is my greatest enemy
with the cross his ally,
the day is what i love most
but life with him does not last.


My family lives a life of secrecy
but we still mingle among men for food
the sight of blood drives us crazy
for it is our life and on it we depend


Even though people despice us
and think we are the worst
by terming our existence a mistake
but dont forget that what we want, we will always take!!!!!

FoggyImagination

So this is interesting. I like the way its obviously about a certain group of people/ beings...but you don't have to come out and say it.

Yeah, the idea is good but it has no flow for me.

This part sounds good and natural...after that I kind of stumbled with it. I think once you revise and try more fitting words and find your rhythm this could really be something.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss